That's what weekends are for....

I took off yesterday, just because ...I can. Even though it was 'without' pay, it was nice. Mike and I went to the morning classes by Canon. You know the guys that made my 'hobby' camera? Well, they had toys. Rather then get drool all over the 40D, I used the wide angle lens, to learn more of my own. It's one I've been wanting to get. Of course everyone else was using the drool over models with the longer lenses to get close up shots. I'm not impressed with the wide angle, and am glad I have not put out the money to get one. Mike used the new point and shoot G9, it's really nice and a really good point and shoot. He got some good shots, but when going to it's full telephoto limit the picture tends to pixilate and they aren't that good. One can get good pictures with the telephoto, but don't take it to it's limit; you couldn't make a poster out of it. Still learned a bit that is helpful. Tomorrow we plan on going and I'm going to use an image stabilizer lens.

While there we saw a couple of century plants. They are spiky cactus' that go about just above the knee, and once every 100 years send a shoot out of the center that grows taller then a person and blooms. That is why they're called century plants. One was in the middle of a rocky outpost at Mather Point, the other was in the woods several yards off the paved path. The one in the woods amazed me; it was HUGE. Tomorrow I plan on picturing both. Who knows maybe that lavander dragon fly will be back there too.

Musings

The hazy distance
In the high desert
Mountains in shadows


In the hazy distance
Shadows talk
Whispers
Heard in the breeze
Overheard
By the clouds
Passing by

On the unmarked trail
The pathway littered
Opportunities

More Olympic Pictures

Thank you Sunny for the pics.

Olympics...company style

Today we had the Olympics at the rec center. Turned out to be a lot more fun then I ever expected. (All other 'corporate' team building events, have been, lets say, tense).

Of course Mike and I were on different teams; he was on the transportation team, and I was on the hr team. Both of us reluctantly signed up for one event, he ended up doing 3.



That is him in the blue t-shirt. I like his new SueDoo. (She works in hr and cuts hair really well).



While Mike won 3 silver medals, (that matches his hair), I won one bronze (which matches mine). His team overall won the silver, ours won the bronze. It was pretty amazing how well maintenance did, they took away a lot and won the gold. Accounting got the turkey award. Funny.



What a sport?!!

More Arizona Exposure

Look who walked by our house for dinner last weekend? The 'boys'.




Pretty big aren't they?



A couple ate off the doorstep, about 5 feet away.



Gotta....reach...that....itch....ahhh.

Singing the theme song from Northern Exposure yet?

Happy Birthday Michael

I came to the Canyon to start a new life; looks like you found me.

Love ya

Happy July

It's hot here, up in the 90's during the day. No there will not be fireworks over the canyon. As pretty as that would be it would also spell disaster as it is WAY too easy to spark a fire.

We were thinking about going out of town since we both have a three day weekend, however, just the thought of traffic outside the park (much less inside) pretty much nixed that idea. So we'll stay at home and enjoy ourselves here.

In the meanwhile a lot is in bloom. There has been so much green I'm really surprised. But here is a taste of what you're missing:

It's a dry heat...

Yeah, well it's still hot! Here it is 7:30, the sun is setting and we have relief. We're at the point of having 40-50 degree differences between night and day and boy do we look forward to it. So between yesterday and today, Mike and I haven't done much; at least until we felt like stirring in the later afternoon/evening.

I did take advantage of the long lull in the wait for the breath of fresh air this afternoon and completed a drawing! Whoo hoo, another step. So here it is folks, 'Fancy Dancer':

Ahhh the weekend

Friday night, the crazy work week, which went smoothly, is at an end. It's summertime and the movement of events are so slow it's easy to miss any evolution though it happens even if we don't see it.

Music, the sounds that soothe the savage beaste within are reflecting upon the walls as Ramone (a co-worker friend) came over for dinner after jamming with Mike at the rec center.

It's now Saturday morning, breakfast is done, the dishes are waiting. It was nice to have a person over for dinner and music. Though I look forward to our visit with our psuedo daughter Sarah. She just got back from Lousiana visiting her family. I look forward to catching up.

Summertime...

Summer Solstice came by yesterday, showing off her glittery warmth in the yellow heat of the sun. It's been in the 90's here during the day; very hot but almost no humidity. It's kinda wierd having static electricity during the summer. Some of the cactai are blooming beautiful yellow flowers up by the rim and around the park. Took some pictures on my way home from work I'll have to post later when I download them. Though I don't care for the heat I love how cool it gets at night; in the 50's or 60's.

Mike and I went to Granview Point the other night, with a little 'bucket' of chicken from Yavapai and Mad Housewife wine to watch the full moon rise. Big and orange, the craters resembling a face. It was nice. While waiting for the moon to rise I was caught unawares in the moment of a breeze the feeling of "wow" as I took pictures of the sunset through leaves. It was so quick I even wondered if I even felt it. I could hear music in my head as I took the pictures of the leaves. So maybe I'll make a video of my photos with music of my own. Prayers and thoughts of healing known and unknown were sent with each breath as this week held many of both (prayers and thoughts).

It was with much relief and happiness to have Sue come back to work. Boy we sure did miss her. The team at hr is great, helping each other out with each task that needs to be completed. I joke to Deb about her beautiful little red haired blue eyed girl Mercy as our mascot. She's so cute. And it's funny how we become like 'mama hens' to the kids that come in.

Mike and I went to the AZ room for dinner last night and he was so sweet when a couple of girls started asking 'hr' questions. It was funny cause I just interviewed and tested for the next step up into a new position yesterday afternoon. Oh yea, the food was good. Though we'll still recommend the BA and ET restaurants over the AZ room.

Tomorrow Mike's dad and his girlfriend are coming to the canyon to visit. Looking forward to seeing them again. We're taking a train ride, as they now have 90 minute rides to Coconino Canyon and back on the old fashioned train.

Happy Papa Day

For all of us; both mothers and fathers who are and have been both.

In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson made Father's Day a holiday to be celebrated on the third Sunday of June. The holiday was not officially recognized until 1972, during the presidency of Richard Nixon.

It's been celebrated since 1908. But like mother's day it's a time to celebrate a parent or both as there are times whether together or seperate we have to be both.

Rhetoric

Saw this article on Drudgereport, and in the first paragraph I had to post this. Take your pick on what Mr. Bush's rhetoric means. After all there were millions who willingly 'bought' into the war on Iraq, I applaud those who stood up to oppose it; however it wasn't a 'vote' for the public only our 'representatives' to choose. Frankly his rhetoric worked very well, and I personally wouldn't trust his way to leave "his successor a legacy of international diplomacy for tackling Iran."


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article4107327.ece
Audio Help (rět'ər-ĭk) Pronunciation Key n.
The art or study of using language effectively and persuasively.
A treatise or book discussing this art.
A style of speaking or writing, especially the language of a particular subject: fiery political rhetoric.
Language that is elaborate, pretentious, insincere, or intellectually vacuous: His offers of compromise were mere rhetoric.
Skill in using language effectively and persuasively.
A style of speaking or writing, especially the language of a particular subject: fiery political rhetoric.
Language that is elaborate, pretentious, insincere, or intellectually vacuous: His offers of compromise were mere rhetoric.
Verbal communication; discourse.

American Psychological Association (APA):
rhetoric. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Retrieved June 10, 2008, from Dictionary.com website:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rhetoric

In the end it's all rhetoric

Wondering

On my walk home tonight the breeze blew a thought into my head. As frustrated as I am with the antiquated systems in place where I work (at all places I've worked at since I got here), I wonder. If I worked in a place that had modern systems; I don't just mean machines but ways of doing things too, would I be up to par? As I ponder, I ask would they then turn into 'it's just the way it's always been done' kind of management system? Am I that way, or would I become that way?

Change is constant and necessary; not just for growth personally but otherwise as well. Maybe it's the retro Mercury; as that tends to focus on communications, and all that involves (that's a very big picture). This has been building for some time, though once again I wonder, should I just compromise and accept the status quo? It seems to work for thousands of people why doesn't it work for me?

Just wondering.

Time passes by...

The days tend to slide from one moment to another as we continue throughout the week. It's been a VERY busy week this last week with a lot of kids checking in; most are from Ecuador, others are from Bulgaria and a few scattering from China. Nice kids. One from Singapore came back and when I pronounced his name he told me I was the first person here who pronounced it correctly and thanked me. That made my day. I'm learning how the different countries have unique pronunciations of our vowels and consenants, it's intriguing. The Ecuadorian's speak a Spanish that is very close to Italian; I know, I know they have a base structure of Latin. The one guy from France I felt sorry for. Considering the state of the dollar it must be like working for a 3rd world country; and then coming to such a remote place sometimes (not always) it feels like we're back in the 50's. Oh that's right we've upgraded to the 70's; at least part of the village.

They've started a bus to Tusayan, a small hamlet just outside the park. Great place, well the only place, to get a decent pizza along with a few other things. Then the train is starting a new tour twice a day to a different canyon (the name will be updated soon), at 5pm and at 7pm. It helps to have Mike at the trans desk to learn of these things (among other things but those are too private to mention here - tee hee). We plan on taking the trip.

Learned there's a new Canon point and shoot that's 12mp. It has great capabilities, and magazines and such only take pictures that are shot with a 10 or more megapixels. So all those wonderful shots I have are just 'hobby' pictures. Disappointing, but I'll keep taking pictures. Speaking of pictures, the pen and ink picture has been sent to the Paints America contest; it's below. Personally I don't think it'll be in the final pick of 100, however, entering it is the step necessary at this point. Time to get some (much) larger pieces of watercolor paper to start on next years entry; and yes I have an idea in mind. It's intimidating, but I've got lots of 'hobby' pictures to use as a base.

The sad news this week: Mike's grandmother passed away Monday evening. He got home Monday night, it was a very long 4 days without him; sleeping was difficult. But I am very glad he got to go see her and his grandfather and the extended family. His grandparents were about to celebrate their 74th wedding anniversary. How bout that??!! He kept teasing me with visuals; like there was so much moisture in the air his skin became a sponge, there was lush green and flowers around and didn't dare go into a 'real' grocery store for fear of wanting to send A LOT of stuff home. Then my brother called to let me know Williemae (his girlfriend) has about a week to live. The cancer is spreading horribly fast; he's been with her for a couple of years and my heart breaks for him. He's provided her with a lot of things she didn't have and loved her tenderly. The doctors say the cancer isn't painfull so she'll just go to sleep one day and not wake up; there is a blessing in that as we all know it's difficult to see a loved one in pain at anytime.

Well that's the week in review. May next week be filling with loving memory making moments that will bring a smile to your face.

Happy June

Summer solstice arrives within a handfull of weeks; calling to celebrate the apex of a new season. Ancient or new celebrations of the sun happen daily. From wandering outside absorbing the heat from the rays; worshiping with our bodies as some lie prone exposing skin to the suns mercy. Of course there are those who like me look like something came out of an easy bake oven half done as my arms and face are red while the legs still pale. I'm beginning to think they reflect rather then absorb light.

Yesterday I enjoyed the afternoon with Sara and Paula taking hundreds of photos of the Hopi dancers. Mostly for drawing purposes I did play with a few. Here's what I came out with.

It's the middle of the camel's back day...

Monday I had off, Mike didn't. So while he was earning the pay to keep us the way we've become accustomed (we're working on earning the way we'd LIKE to be accustomed), I enjoyed the laziness of the day. It involved a little grocery shopping, having tea with a co-worker, putting groceries away, meeting Mike for lunch, taking a nap, drawing a picture and making dinner.

David, a former co-worker (I don't work with anymore) asked me to draw a picture for him. I think it turned out well. Here it is:

Pen and ink rendering on watercolor paper. He had a photograph I worked with. Hmm I think I'm getting better at rocks, but then again I'm saturated in them here. Looking forward to a large challenge; getting a 16 X 20 sketch book and do some of the Grand Canyon itself. I've got lots of pictures to go by, so it's a start. Who knows, maybe next year I'll graduate to colors...

bisphenol A

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=plastic-not-fantastic-with-bisphenol-a

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=692145

Two very interesting articles. The second one was featured on Bill Moyer's last night. It captured my attention when they talked about how they investigated the piece, then the conclusions from a very attentive investigation. It was lengthy, but very very informative. The major concern of the byproduct is the cancer; however I thought it pointed directly to several other MAJOR concerns that plague us tremendously. Diabetes, obesity, and hyper activeness. These concern me more as they are constantly being utilized for advertising, different drugs, and a large first step in the nations health problems.

Heading off this issue could make a huge difference in the continually growing costs of medicine in many various forms. Not to mention the side effects those conciously and unconciously affect.

One other thing concerned me was when the Safe Drinking Water Act was signed by Bill Clinton in 1996 the EPA was required to test chemicals. The article featured on Bill Moyer exposed they have not started their testing until 2007. So what did 80 million dollars pay for?

Friday......

Though it's been a good week, the brain isn't boiling over half as much and I can see my progress at work. After almost 60 check in's over 2 days (the rest of the week is catching up the paperwork!), I'm glad it's Friday. Memorial day, the doorway to summer (???). It's in the 40's outside, spitting and drooling hail. Funny back East the hail is a sure indicator of a tornado near, but not here, no, we have lightening and thunder during a snowstorm; the wind whips in circles going around and through every crevice and corner (when it's up). Luckily it's not.

Mike made a wonderful steak dinner, better then I used to make on my indoor grill; he uses the broiler. Music is playing on the computer , the beer is cold and all is quiet in our little village, at least here. I'm sure the front desks are having a doozy of a time as there are no room at the inns; glad I'm not there. Right this minute is peace.

May everyone find their moments of peace and hear their soul breath "ahhhh".

After the facts...

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/exbush-adviser-rove-must-testify-in-case-that-could-shame-white-house-832859.html

Hind sight is 20/20 as Rove is brought before a committee regarding the prosecution of Dan Siegleman and the ousting of 9 US attorney's in 2006. So does this mean in 2010 we'll finally investigate the trillions of dollars being miss spent by the contractors in Iraq? Not to mention the vast waste of taxpayers monies by our government today. While we're on the year 2006, lets investigate a little bit further into Hurrican Katrina. Not just Mr. Brown, but the lack of preparedness when it was known to be headed into Louisiana. Why wasn't emergency efforts put on alert and ready to go in as it hit? How much was it down played beforehand at the highest level?

Unfortunately we cannot turn back the hands on the clock to 'do over'. What we can do is look a lot closer at what is going on now, question the reasoning and/or justifications and decide is it really worth it?

Flutterings

Memories of Mada have been fluttering in and out of my mind over the past several days; touching me now and again with the profound loss, in moments. Is the squeeze a hug on my heart by her?

Today on my break I saw a huge yellow and black Western Tiger Swallowtail and a thought entered my mind as quickly as it was fluttering by. "That is what she would choose" the words echoed with laughter, hers, because she loved yellow, and butterflies. As my heart squeezed in her hug, I smiled.

Idealism

What a dream. As I look at the news report of China, and Myammar my heart goes out to the many people struggling with the trauma of surviving or worse, surviving alone. A friend told me about her sister's ordeal when Katrina hit Lousiana. We the public didn't see half the problems of course; remember the large number of survivors standing on the bridge? The news crew had them move to a different section so they wouldn't get the pile of bodies in the picture. Sad.

With what is actually shown in the news, it makes me wonder how worse it actually is. There are many kind hearted people wanting to help, but the bureaucracy causes hesitance when it is known those in need will only see a smithering of what is actually sent.

It is an idealistic thought that the military with all it's strategic ways could learn to use their knowledge to help; not just in the cleaning up but the people aspect rather then forcing a way of life onto another. Yes I know it goes both ways; there is no easy answer but the first step is putting down the gun and use both hands to reach out, teach and learn.

Another lesson

A friend once told me that when we pray for patience, we are literally asking for the lesson. Boy did that ring a bell within.

Yesterday morning I came accross another quotation that struck yet another cord:

We've all heard that we have to learn from our mistakes, but I think it's more important to learn from successes. If you learn only from your mistakes, you are inclined to learn only errors."
Norman Vincent Peale

Time and time again I have taken those mistakes to heart to learn from them, only to achieve the same, usually in a different or more heartbreaking way. There have been times I have taken the success and learned from it as well, though it's not easy to do. This is becoming another step in the process of growing.

Put the FREAKING snowglobe down!!

Said in the best 'go to your room voice'. Didn't help. We woke up to more of the white stuff, hard to believe after taking a short hike on Saturday and getting some sun. I bet Susan is glad she's not here! Boy do I feel for the kids in the cabins.

Mantra; 'wait for the weekend when it's supposed to be near 80'

lepidopterology

It's the scientific study of butterflies and moths; well not quite, I'm only at the amateur stage; identifying. Taking pictures helps to answer that first field question: What kind is that? It's a childlike wonder as I watch a butterfly fluttering or be very quiet as I sneak up to watch it. Some have seen the yellow butterfly pictured in Oak Canyon, and few have seen the white butterfly pictured here in the Grand Canyon at Shoshone Point.

Here's what I learned:








This is a Western Tiger Swallowtail. Not much else, but the name, and that right now is all I wanted to know. This one was taken at Oak Creek Canyon, we stopped there on our way home from Phoenix



This is a Pontia sisymbrii; aka, Spring White. Pretty is what I call it.





Now to identify the catepillar and different looking bee I saw....

Vortex

I was talking with Brenda yesterday; she told me about several vortex's in the area where they either absorb energies or give energies.

I've heard they're good places to give your problems to, I've done it myself. What energies we give produces consequences, even if we give them to Earth. Earth is a living breathing ancient entity as we are, it communicates differently, is that why we dismiss it? That's for another time. But the energies have to go full circle, when releasing them it's absorbed and produces another type of reaction.

Seasons and cycles are for renewing, re-energizing, rebirth. There are many types of seasons despite the immediate ones presented weather type, the ice ages themselves are a season of their own. As we do, aging, going through experiences, etc.

A sudden thought occured as we were in the middle of that conversation; what if we - one or more - gave positive affirmations of peace and harmony? What kind of outcome could that create?

Yeah, I'm sounding more and more like a 'hippy', but I've learned to follow my instincts as we are all connected. We are made from the dust of Earth, stars, the universe, and will go back to being dust of the Earth. 'From dust to dust' has distinct meaning, in between the dust particles I will create the beauty I can.

A taste...

Mike and I took a Sunday drive. On the way to Cameron we stopped at Shoshone Point. It's where they hold weddings here in the canyon. After parking we walked up a road, pretty rocky, a mile there and a mile back. It was a nice walk through the forest, peace filled and quiet. Getting up to the point we saw pretty little flowers, and took pictures. After that we stopped at one of the roadside stands; there's quite a few with native jewelry, and hiked another half mile out to a point taking more pictures of more flowers. Cameron is on the way to the painted desert; it's beautiful yet so very desolate. It's an oasis with trees (we watched a humming bird working a honeysuckle vine), a good restaurant, a huge store with lots of exquisite artwork, and not as good but pretty stuff. There's even antiquities from the late 1800's there; and yes they are for sale. The building is made of the rocks from the landscape, fossils, of course, are everywhere, the mortar is made with the pink sand of the desert. Beautiful.

I've never had much interest in the desert, when they showed the nature movies in school I would often wonder why people sought it out. Still do sometimes, especially when driving by old trailers and such. However passing several hogans (native homes build in a traditional way), brought the connection of the land and people home. Modernized with wood rather then, stone, dirt and branches, it gave it's story of respect to a way of life almost wiped out by territorialist that started way back in the 1600's. The air is different, cooler for the most part, dryer and more arid. The rocks, plants, animals evolved to suit the environment creating distinctive coloring, shapes and energies.

Looking out the window watching the changes in the landscape I thought to myself of all the places I've planted, I go into the desert to bloom.

Looking back

Looking back in my blog I remember with clarity how the humidity felt as I sat on my balcony listening to the cicadas, swating mosquitos, eating dinner and drinking wine. It was around this time I had accepted the offer to live, work, play and breathe in the Grand Canyon. I remember the scary excitement of myself being drawn into a new and different environment and sensed the magical opportunity it would behold; daring to keep my imagination at bay so as I wouldn't set up expectations.

I look back at all the wonder, the audacity of it, and wrap myself in the giggle of finding adventure. In that adventure I find more truth as I look inside at the changes wrought from stepping away in faith and finding so much more then I ever expected about myself and the interactions with others. I've realized the differences I've experienced have changed me that my attitude and actions have reflected over time affected my unique environment. Opening up to let someone share life with adds more to the terrain of changes in my landscape creating more.

Synopsis of the week

The first full week in human resources is done. It's a great team of people, full of fun, laughter and support as we help each other to get things done. It's a great way to meet new people, I love seeing the various faces that come in and remember how excited I was to get here. It's also nice to see the faces of those I work with, whom I've known and continue with a friendship. Sharing with Mike the antics of my co-workers and some of the funny stuff said is a nice change from eating elephants. Every Friday is a theme day, this week was stuffed animal day. I was loaned one, because my moose is in storage, but we all shuffled outside to get a picture. Housing was in on it too. It turned out really good, everyone was smiling, and no eyes were closed.

Working in HR also gives me a chance to learn about different cultures. We have a Tai girl in the office until the end of next month. I've learned their names have different meanings, hers means 'Golden Flower'. She explained to me how as little children they have to learn the many languages of their own language and some of the words are Sanscrit which she said is very difficult. It's also very ancient.

It is nice to be in an outgoing, supportive fun atmosphere. Sure it's a step down, and I lose some perks, but one needs to be happy in their job. I've also found we tend to spend what we earn, no matter how much we make, it is the value in the choices. I am blessed to have someone to share this with who supports me with understanding and love.

Happy May

Mayday, the doorway to summer. More flowers shoot through the earth, as does grass and other beautious things. The trees look a bit greener as though they grew leaves over night as we anticipate the new season with a sanguine disposition creating an unconstrained atmosphere.

Though we still go to our day with the daily routines; work, errands, cleaning, etc. Taking a moment to lift our faces to the subtle breeze, soak in the warmth of the sun, or admire the spectrum of colors in a flower giving tribute to Earth and the wonders given as gifts. Take that special kiss from a loved one, feel it trickle into a special pocket in the heart; where it blooms.

Enjoy this first day of May, when your breath is caught by the beauty of a moment; feel the connection with all.

Growing beyond....

We all have defense mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviors that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat; even when part of us knows they no longer work. Such behavior is a natural response from our mental and physical aspects. But because we are spiritual beings as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth that lay beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to work directly from that place of truth within us.
Most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realized crying would get us the attention we craved. Passive aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to get what we needed without being scolded, punished or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Some of us may have taken refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to direct attention away from ourselves entirely. Throwing ourselves into projects or rescuing others from themselves can be effective ways to avoid dealing with our own issues. And when people are truly helped by our actions, we get the added bonus of feeling heroic. But while defenses can keep away the things we fear, they can also work to keep our good from us.
When we can be honest with ourselves about what we truly desire, then we can connect our desires to the creative power of the spirit within us. Knowing that we are one with the energy of the universe allows us release any need for defense. Trusting that power, we know that we are exactly where we are meant to be, and that challenges bring gifts of growth and experience. When we can put down arms raised in defense, then we are free to use our hands, minds, hearts and spirits to mold and shape our abundant energy to create and live our lives.


I got this in my email today and found it rather insightful.

Garage sale...Grand Canyon Style

"Who da thunk it?" Paula laughed.

Picked up a few things, some clothes. Paula got to the cooler before I did, darn. But that's okay she and I usually go grocery shopping together and we'll both use it. Got a little bit of my 'shopping fix' in as Mike calls it. Just eased the beast for a little while.

The beauty of Mother Nature

A cardinal landing in the waterfall for some water. Pretty bird, stayed a while for several great shots.

The yellow butterfly in Oak Canyon. Fluttered so prettily, got more shots, one better then this that I intend to play with.

The red earth of Sedona. Mike told me the red indicates a large amount of oxygen in the layers of rock. The base of the colors create a beautiful photo as they compliment each other.

Pinball

Here are the pics of the car. It held up pretty well, thanks to Mike's driving.

Friday

Here it is Friday...again. Though this was a 'short' 'work' week it feels long because I got a lot done.

On Monday and Tuesday I had off, so it was a nice long weekend. Ended up running more, and doing more things it was almost a relief to get back to work. Which was a new job. Started in hr on Wednesday. A lot of filing since the person who I'm replacing is still there, she starts her work on Monday, but it's a good way to get aquainted with the staff that is there. It's nice to meet the newbies; and the staff I already know half of them and the other half is nice. So it'll be a good atmosphere to work in.

Today is a special Friday for one of the staff members, Sue, she and her guy get married up on the rim. So for their present I'm taking pictures, I've also got a beautiful frame for them to pick one to print. Still on my list for the weekend is to go to the Kolb studio to see the new show and the Hopi dancers.

Sunday blues...

Sunday, the day to play the blues. On the internet radio that is. Good stuff after a great Sunday morning breakfast. Sunday morning breakfasts and dinner is when we sit down together, eat and talk. Well, Mike and I talk to each other all the time, but over food is a time we go over more extensive ideas, dreams, and goals.


We're both looking forward to less windy days to get into the canyon but this gives us opportunity to add our ever growing supply of great photography to a site to order gifts from. One of Mike's was voted one of the best of the day. Which gets us pretty excited. Who knows where this will go, but for my best cheering section, 'it's out there!'

New stripes? They sure look like the old ones...

Sometimes people put on a facade of new clothes, life, job, home or a piece of furniture to distinquish the changes in their 'stripes'. At least until the same 'issues' that were supposed to leave with the chucking of the old come back around and waltz back into ones life challenging us to either handle it the way we always have or create a new outcome. Sometimes it's not easy to see the 'old' issues clearly as they're cleaverly disguised under layers of pretenses the 'new' was covering. Layering it as it is gives it a different face, but it knaws until the old face of familarity is back. Then it'll kick back and relax, because habit keeps it comfortable. deep inside arguing with will power 'why fight what you can't control?' 'I'm baaaack!' Justify the need, it whispers to the soul and the soul does turning it back into the habit it once was. Those outside get affected one way or another, some by shock, some by a tsk and a shake of the head, then those close to the eye of the storm can either get angry or realize the anger is in themselves for believeing the layers. Once the anger is gone a realization of choice is given, accept it for what it was and move on or boil in anger. Moving on doesn't mean staying open for that type of behavior to continue, but to learn from it and either cut it from the environment or not to let it continue to affect one by removing it from your life (usually through disassociation). Harm to another is not an accepted choice.

Before anyone reads anything into this no this is not about Mike and me, we're fine. Just a personal observation.

The day after...

Yesterday started out really good. On the employee shuttle I heard "I Got You Babe" by Sonny and Cher; smiled as I wiped a tear. In the afternoonI got a call from the HR manager I had interviewed with last week and was offered the position. I was thrilled. She's going on vacation but wants to start training me on the 28th, so I had the opportunity of taking the week off (without pay), or coming in to do filing. After talking it over with Mike, who was encouraging me by pointing out what I can do with my free time - all of it leisure, I decided to take Monday and Tuesday off. So I get a nice long weekend.


But by the time I got home, finished a load of laundry and we ate dinner I was done. Tired, sore and frustrated with myself because I had been forgetting things, mostly words in the middle of a sentence. This has been going on all week and I had to move some boxes at work that weighed a bit which sent my muscles into spasm's but the therapist said today it seemed to help work out the tension and then gave me a wonderful massage and told me to be patient with myself and get rest.

And the desert bloomed...

It was a great trip to Phoenix. Really nice to ride in a car that was ours (even if only for the weekend). On the way down I looked out the window and saw so much desert, I commented on how I could almost see Clint Eastwood and Shirley McClain riding by on a horse and a mule. (From Two Mules for Sister Sarah). Mike laughed. It was the tail end of the blooming, so there was an abundance of yellow flowers, which made me think of Mada. The song "Horse with no Name", tuned on in my head and I smiled as I made peace with the desert.

Met my sweet, kind, future father-in-law and his very sweet generous girlfriend. I laughed as I noticed little things that Mike does, his father does also. It was cute.

We went into Scottsdale. Nice town, kind of similar to St. Augustine with the many many galleries, restaurants, and tourist traps. My windows would go well in a couple of the galleries. Actually wished for a moment to have the supplies and stuff, but that part is done, time to move forward. We relaxed a lot at their home, I sat outside most of the time soaking in the hot weather and enjoyed it. What a first. Got a little sun, not too much. Mike and I shared my camera to take pictures of the various birds that came into the back yard. It's sits on the edge of a wash, they have bird feeders and a nicely constructed waterfall which draws the animals.

On our way home yesterday we stopped in Sedona. Pretty place. Way too crowded and it's not even 'season'. I'd love to get some of the beautiful dirt to make some pottery or paint. Found a great little restaurant overlooking the creek, sat outside and were able to smoke after we ate. Not very available here (or in Florida). Then stopped at Oak Creek Canyon to look at the overview. The twists and turns bothered me a bit as we climbed the mountain. Its the first time since I've been here my fear of heights really bothered me. The canyon there is so different, full of pines and dark rock, make me think of the Misty Mountains in the Hobbit. Caught some pictures of a pretty yellow butterfly (not an easy thing).

It was a really nice birthday weekend, a very memorable way to mark the 45th. It is nice to get 'home', though it's back to work today. Will download pics soon, though it's getting harder to tell which is Mike's or mine. He's been using the camera pretty much since the accident for several reasons, the main one is it makes my back pack way too heavy to carry with my shoulder. I tried it last week and sadly shook my head when I felt the twinges. Soon I will be able to again.

Getting away

Though my shoulder is tweaking a bit due to the deep tissue massage the physical therapist gave me yesterday, it's not keeping me down. Just a few more things to pack and we're on our way to Phoenix for the weekend.

I admit I'm just a little nervous meeing Mike's father and girlfriend, but the calling of exploration of a new place is more important. I hear the cactus is in bloom. Though my introduction of Phoenix wasn't great one can't judge a city by just the airport and bus station. And for the record I am looking forward to getting into the 85 degree weather. Write that down, it's a first. We both wonder if we'll want to come back, but I don't think that'll be a problem since we want to drive through Sedona on the way back. That's the place I probably won't want to leave, but this will be a good way to get our feet wet so to say.

It's the first time we'll be driving ourselves (getting a rental in Flag), since the accident. I know that's been a tickle in the back of my mind; getting back on the horse per se, but we'll do it and be better for it. So more will be written after the weekend, in the meanwhile, I'll take notes.

Spring??

Just last week the new grass peeked up creating a little magic for those who noticed it. It's brief and only happens once, that surge, the captured attention of the sunlight on the new grass with the birds singing in the trees. Yes I hear the instrumental music used on Bugs Bunny. haha.

But today, spring is quiet. There were snow flurries outside this morning. Just a dusting. Maybe, just maybe it'll create more green and color as little tiny flowers are starting to peek out of crevices.

New Picture

I just posted a picture for my profile on the blog. It was fun playing with the Adobe Elements using different lighting, textures and changing the saturation, hue and brightness. I saved a couple of them, for the difference, but used the one because if one looks close enough you can see Mike's reflection on taking the picture in my sunglasses.


This one is straight out of the camera. Mid day lighting (too harsh)



This one is changed to black and white with a few filter plays.





This final one, I removed the color, and added 'old photo' to give it graininess or character as I like to refer to it.

I'm looking forward to seeing what other fun stuff to do.

Patterns

I was talking with a friend yesterday about patterns that reoccur in our lives. Most times we only observe the negative ones expressing 'not again!'. This person's experience has taught that those patterns reoccur as I have not succeeded in learning the lesson. I have found that when I step back, look at the big picture, and ask myself 'what is my lesson in this?' I am faced with the truth. Sometimes it hurts to see how I've manifested, through action and words this part of my own environment; othertimes it shows me a part of the past that is needed to move on. This affects those in my environment from those close to me and those that I have become acquainted with. I know I can only change what is in me personally, not anyone else.
With that knowledge I have access to the tools to change my environment one step at a time. That is where I tend to find myself in what I like to think of as a 'new room' in my home. It's free of clutter and open for opportunities for me to 'fill' it with my memories, actions and words. This continues throughout my life constantly, though I've found it's become a habit most of the time. Accepting the lesson can be hard but cleansing, and there are times I've had to tell myself 'there is something so much better on the otherside', because once the task is completed there is something better on the otherside of it and I am part of that something better and it's the beginning of something new.

Martini's

Mike's results came in, finally. He's the olive. Olive? Yes, in the martini shaker. Just take it easy, live as 'normal' as possible and heal. He's doing well, me I have a cold. Ahhh, my words come back to haunt me 'this too shall pass'.

New Discoveries

Yesterday Mike needed to go to Flag for a CAT scan. A very nice co-worker friend took us. As we started out early we found a store she had wanted to see, Mike and I enjoyed it's presence as well. Since we had some time to kill we drove around and found a little open aired 'mall'. I use that word sparingly as it's still in the building process but I was thrilled to see some of my favorite stores there, especially Marshall's. There was a new one called World Market we decided to wander into and were overjoyed at the colors, scents and prices. When we took Mike to the hospital Paula and I wandered back to Marshall's. After picking him up and having lunch we went to Home Depot (in the same 'mall') after getting what Paula needed Mike and I both gravitated to the garden department. I had to smell the fresh basil multiple times, each time burying my nose in the fragrant leaves and inhaling deeply. Seeing that I have no political ambitions, YES I INHALED!!. Oh that was something else, nevermind.

I thought of MJ often, especially in World Market. Going down the aisles of unique food items reminded me of her, our trip to London, and how she inspires anyone she is near to try new things. Such the adventurous spirit she is. So Mike picked up a few things, I did too and found some chocolate thins made with Belgium chocolate...OMG they are HEAVEN. Another memory of London when MJ re-introduced me to chocolate, european chocolate in London; reinventing the love I thought I had lost and mourned. (blasphamy) Mike liked the shop so much we've declared it a danger zone; together. Paula concurred.

Leaving there we did the usual stop at WallyWorld. Walking in I smiled as I remembered the first time Susan and I got out of the canyon and ventured into the unfamilar territory. I was shaken leaving my quiet sanctuary to venture into what felt like a crowd. This time it was rejuvinating, though with a pang of regret as this was our last stop before going back home to the canyon. I realized how much I miss the 'civilized' world, I miss being able to go at my own whim (in my own car), do and see what I want. I wonder about the differences and consider for a moment if my move to the Canyon was a way to realign my spirit onto the axis it had fallen so far off. I had a beautiful place in a beautiful town with beautiful people, but was missing something so much more it was unidentifiable; though those close to me know the many different reasons, it was a necessary step. Does the step have to be so drastic? Sometimes, as I know there have been those who have honestly spoke to me about being jealous they couldn't do the same thing; I could hear the ache in their soul as they uttered their words. Mankind has always been a bit nomadic, some more then others. Many times my siblings and I would quip, or groan and moan about our 'gypsy blood' or our 'gyspy feet' aching to move on.

The trip to town got my imagination going to dream of a place to plant for a while. Literally and figuratively. That seems such a vague dream right now, but where ever I move onto I look forward. The best part is the richness added with Michael at my side and I by his, as we both contemplate and toss around ideas of the next steps to get where we want to set roots. Into the soil of our future together.

Building blocks

Gosh has it been a week already?? Taking the time off from last Thursday to Monday was necessary. Unfortunately it wasn't enough for Michael as he's experiencing more headaches and such whereas mine are more minor discomforts; ie; stiffness, a twinge here and there. But we are taking it one step at a time for healing and life.
Learning to balance is and always seems to be the most difficult. He told me this morning he misses me working on my photos and drawings, where I miss his music. I know personally we both have time to chose to do those things we love; it's a matter of stopping the 'time suckers'. You know, computer playing, television, so in my head that whiny voice that says 'I don't have time', is false. Recognizing that for me personally is important, it doesn't apply to anyone but me.
Last night the movie 'Field of Dreams' was on. I've never seen it completely, only in bits, but I finally got to watch most of it. Along with that have been what I call 'signs', whether it'd be quips of conversations, images or just plain dreams there's been a connection. That may end up being a blog or a personal journal entry later but it is part of the building blocks.
Mike and I are officially engaged, however the date remains elusive as there are choices we consider important for our wedding. Many things run through my mind from the material things (rings, clothing, etc), to the non material items, (time, place, wording, etc).
I mention the wedding as it's one of our building blocks in our future together; and how it will affect not only ourselves but those that are in our lives as we take our steps together blending our worlds. Part of our building blocks.

Healing...

Both of us went to the clinic Thursday. Despite the pressures from jobs, mostly mine, we're off through the weekend. Mike has a concussion, me I have spasiming muscles. Frankly I don't feel them spasm all that much - occassionally, but they stay pretty much tight. I start physical therapy on the 28th, if I still feel as tight as I am I'll insist on xrays before hand. Personally I think a 4 day weekend at a spa would be perfect. It should also be deductable, because of the medicinal benefits it would entail. I know a great massage, a hot tub, a pool and just all out relaxing would induce a healthier way of healing rather then drugs (I wish we could be closer to Terri's house), but alas that just isn't happening. So I take the drug with reluctance and in my mind we're at Terri's Health Spa getting well.
Susan left this morning, heading back to St. Pete to help her grandson. I hope she does well with changing his complete environment. I know she's happy to be going back, she will be missed, but it is with anticipation she find her joy in life.

Some of the best decisions are made over morning coffee

This morning as Mike and I were pausing from our computers, he sat next to me and asked me to marry him. I said yes. Now where is that paper bag to breathe into??? So world, here is Mike. He's so cute.

I have been asked if it was the accident that prompted the question. Yes and no. He had been thinking about it for a while, and the accident proved how short life can be.

It will be somewhere here in the Canyon, but all other details will be decided upon soon.

Life's changing moments

Life changing events often cause a ripple of events that affect us for the rest of our lives. Whether it be through birth, death, accident, or what ever it reaches to those who are near, far and unknown. Life happens, even if it's in that flash of a last second before one is caught up in a cataclysmic moment. Sometimes it takes years to come out of the darkness, but when one can open their eyes and smile from their soul the world is beauty; in the kindness of a strangers words, the embrace of a loved one, the voice of your best friend, even in the ache of a sore muscle. One feels the connection in their soul to life in its purest form.
Taking Mike's hand as he helped me from the mangled formation that was formerly a vehicle, became a nexus . When we stepped away still holding onto each other it became a transformed world for us. Calamitous at first, until we saw and felt more stirrings of life. There are those that are less fortunate for them I grieve and hope they find their way through the darkness to smile yet again as they turn their face to the sun.

NOT on my list of things to do....

Life is great, and I am so thankful Mike and I are alive. Yesterday, 3/16/08 around 1230pm there was a MASSIVE pileup on interstate 40 in Flagstaff and we were in the middle of it. Borrowed a friends Geo and went to Flag to do some shopping. On the way back Mike was driving 30mph, because of white out conditions and ice on the road. It took us 1/2 mile to come to a stop, but we did and thought whew were safe, until he heard the honking of a semi out of control 1/2 mile behind us. Mike got us rolling forward (law of physics), and we were slammed by the jackknifing trailer, pushed like a pinball between a panel truck, another semi and a couple of suvs. As soon as the trailer hit us our seats flipped back and with the impact on myside, the glass from my door flew in, and part of the windshield. I think it was the seats releasing themselves that saved us. Once we came to a stop, (it spinned us completely around) Mike had me wait a moment - incase there was going to be more coming at us, and we then quickly exited the car through the drivers side as our full gas tank was now empty on the road. His door was working, mine was crushed in. I have superficial lacerations on my face (really light ones), my neck, right thigh, and back is achy from tense muscles, Mike's the same way without the cuts, but we WALKED away from it. We walked around for 3 hours calling people and insurance companies, while the rescue teams took care of triage, then asked about getting checked out and had to walk down hill about a half a mile, cross over to the East bound lane (which had the same problem - 70 cars on West bound where we were, 50 on East bound), then we climbed into an ambulance and was taken to a sub clinic of the local hospital. They were innundated, but did a fantastic job. Once we got released we got a got a taxi, hotel room, took a shower and ate dinner and relaxed as much as we could. The interstate finally opened at 430 this morning so we called Flagstaff Express and got home. Everyone has been really nice, from us being out of work to the guy who's car we borrowed. I got email addresses from several people who took pictures of our car, and once they found out which car we were in most shook our hands and said 'happy your alive', So are we.

Canyon time...

A step out of 'reality'. I've met a lot of people and know them by name; it's important, we all like to hear our names being called out in recognition, and all refer to living outside of the canyon as 'being in the outside world.' After all where else does one's electric bill reflect the most on the first bill (under $50) and the subsequent bills be half that! It certainly doesn't happen in 'the outside world'. There's also a store where eggs are not $3.69 a dozen, movie theatres to go to, different dining options that offer 'real' food. Not to mention the most important part, those who's lives are connected to yours, but teaching beauty and truth to the following generations with love and integrity. I admire them and miss them.
We're getting a host of international people in. Mostly young people in their early 20's. Met a few of them on the shuttle a couple of days ago. Beautiful, sweet and full of life. Yesterday at lunch I was listening to conversations all around me, in various different languages. As I looked I saw out of the corner of my eye the shadow of the faces of our girls. Like the dancing butterfly and dragonfly the image flittered beyond. I smiled sadly as my heart ached a bit and listened a little more. Out side perched in a tree was a child raven. It looked more like the crows I've seen in Florida, but it was exercising it's vocal cords beautifully. I laughed outloud when it sounded like a dolphin playing, excited at the connecting sounds of spirit.
Was it just escapism coming here? I imagine and wonder how my sister-friends would flourish were they in the same shoes, knowing their strengths and stamina how deeply rich they would set out to adventure.
No feathers found, but the wind in the trees embrace the chill as winter grasps with apprehension to release the world to spring.

Mundane

Time and people are restless. A break from the mundane is building. When we all capitulate events will then eruct as volcanos creating new land mass to build on. Maybe it's the changes in the weather that stir our pots of energies; as our minds feed on the many seeds of inspiration daring us to nurture one or more to create those changes we ache for in our lives. As adults we've learned, sometimes the hard way, that our actions create ripples of effects well into our futures...and past. How we react, employ, or utilize the changes is the basis of the change and constitues the memories in the journey we face and how we perceive them from the past.

I know for myself the same seed gets planted every year and like a very slow growing tree the roots grow a little deeper and the leaves stretch towards the sun opening every pore to abosorb the nurturing energy. It is of course art. It is when the 'mundane' of physical survival questions the nature that the nature quietly moves to the sidelines and interjects at auspicious moments. For others it is something else entirely. But deep inside we have those desires, wishes, dreams or any other euphamism you use; waiting patiently for those moments to stretch each pore in the sun absorbing the nurturing energy to flower.

Traffic Jams

I was taking a break yesterday, enjoying the sun when I looked down the road and saw a line of cars with break lights on. Here in the canyon we have different terms for traffic jams. Elk jams. Squirrel jams. Deer jams. Toe jams. What it all constitutes is still yet another line to wait in while someone takes a picture. (Of toes? Well I suppose some people can't help but get their feet in the picture.)
Since they're 'jams' how about we just call them a party? Picture the elk band with sunglasses playing instruments...Is this what happens in space as the flying spacecraft slowly drifts by as they ooo and ahhh out their viewing portals watching 'primitive beings' in their natural habitat?
Another part of the snowglobe effect.

Counting...rocks

This week is the week of inventory. Counting each and every little item that is sold in all of the retail shops here in the Canyon. No we don't count the little rocks, just the big ones. lol. As my boss pointed out it's a good way to see what you may want to get in July when we have our 'Christmas in July' special discount for employees. Frankly what I'd like to see is my artwork in the stores. Research ongoing, so who knows.

Most of the snow is gone, what remains are little bits here and there and the tourist are coming in. It's a bit of a relief after a slow season; though I know soon I won't even want to venture near the rim as it will be too crowded.

The artwork is still hung at the rec center for the community art show we had a couple of weeks ago. A few people sold their items. I received a lot of comments on mine but does it count when it doesn't sell? Counting, seems to be the theme of the week; so count your blessings and revel in the joy they give.

Spring

A taste of Spring as it reaches to 67 degrees today. I know those in Florida would be putting jackets on. This morning when I walked out my door it was in the 20's. I wore my jean jacket and gloves, it felt good. Saw a herd of deer as I walked to Mike's work to meet him for breakfast. More then 10 does and 2 bucks. More of a harem if you ask me, but they were pretty just the same. If we get up early enough (we usually do) we might see other types - hopefully big horn sheep by the El Tovar. To be continued...

Even more winter

Yes, more winter. Friday we had more snow, even lightning and thunder. What a wild combination. I am really looking forward to spring, but in the meantime (that wonderful word)...Mike and I went out for a walk on Saturday. The sun came out and it starting melting quickly. It was funny, almost like Nature was having a snowball fight, just daring us to stand under a tree to plop a load of snow on our heads. Susan came close as we ran into her after our photo outing.

Some of the trees looked cartoonish like the one on the left. Reminded me of Dr. Seuss.

We started out on the road near out house, walked to the rec center; despite how snowy it is it wasn't that cold. I didn't realize until we were leaving the rec center I had it on black and white, but that's okay. They came out pretty good. I've taken some pretty good pictures if I do say so myself, getting better. I find if I zoom it in 3 or 4 to 1 and I can see the details it's a good picture.

Going through these Mike commented on how some of them would make an interesting puzzle. Hmm, life is like that; sometimes a big confusing puzzle until you see the big beautiful picture.


Can you see the blue sky in one of these? It's like Waldo, some where in there. This is a good time to review the textures in the trunks, observe te differences between the juniper and pines. They both smell devine in a fireplace however I've observed when Juniper wood is burned peoples allergies are kicked into high gear.(including mine) My theory is the pollen is still whole and 'ingrained' in the wood, when it is burned it is released into the area.

Despite all the winter, I still feel the stirring of spring. Starting to see different birds come up from the warmth of the canyon; there was even a Javalina running down the road by the Bright Angel last week. That's a rare sight up here on the rim. Those behind the desk didn't realize it, even when they got comment cards regarding the pig outside their room. Some thought it was metaphorical. Well at least the pig wasn't in the room, or in some cases was; but symbols come in many forms...

Most of this melted off the trees by Sunday evening, natures way of showing how quickly change can occur whether we notice or not.

Bucket List

I just noticed as I looked at the movie section of my Yahoo, (teasing myself really), the title of the movie caught my attention. Then the actors, very strong and exceptional in performances, then I read what it's about. I won't go into what it's about but the message.
I remember a time when I moved to be close to my children, with the help of my best sister-friend. a free airline ticket I won from work and a couple of suit cases (not even a job) I moved. Without the connection of those that helped, yes even my 1st ex and his wife, it would not have been possible. The connections with others are an exceptionally important part.
I got my own place and a job. I remember vividly talking to MJ one night as I sat on the floor in my very empty apartment, books scattered as I used the library often and she had told me it was the perfect time to make 'a list'. With all the emptiness was room for opportunity, and believe me there was a lot of room. Without reasoning for costs, affordability I wrote. How I wanted to furnish my apartment, things I wanted not just needed, including vacations like going to London and on a cruise.
Time went by, a year actually, when I was cleaning my apartment and came accross that list and laughed a little teary eyed as I saw I had everything and done everything I wanted. Having such a clean slate did prove there was room for opportunity. That was where I think I started 'living'. Not every step was happy go lucky, my friends and family can attest to that. The death of my child was and still is the darkest time that changed the sense of 'living' even further; sometimes challenging.
Through the agony of that dark time, it has created beauty. Appreciation of life, the short time we have. It is in our hands to do with what we want, be where we want and experience what we want. It's the memories we carry forth with us after all the material things we've gathered are gone that define the truth in us.
Tonight, someone or thing is shaking the snowglobe again covering the anticipated lunar eclipse. It's creating a world of white quiet wonder again. Despite being a little disappointed, I am comforted by the beauty in the blanket of white covering the outside world. Like money (the lack or abundance of)or the brief, and sometimes downright depressions; these will pass. 'This too shall pass' has been an affirmation I've said to myself ALOT...and it does, as the sun shines again so do the flowers bloom and so on.
So I chase after the rainbows, and absorb the memories the journey takes creating my 'list' as I go along. Right now it just happens to be in the Grand Canyon. One of the 7 wonders of the world, and it certainly is a wonder in all different lights. To paraphrase a well known commercial..."what's on your list?"

Elephants

Mike is often reminding me that to eat an elephant one takes one small bite at a time. Then he takes me in his arms as I decompress from work.
I'll be in my new job 7 weeks this week. I have moments of 'eurika' soon to be followed by 'am I over my head?' as yet another challenge comes to my face or I missed something. Accounting is not the place to miss anything.
Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, and I know there is 'growing pains' involved, but I do have doubts. (It's te 'growing pains' that feel like one is morphing into an unknown being that can be painful). Wondering.
I knew going in it would be a challenge; looking at contributing factors as lessons to assist in what I do 'outside' as a way to formulate structure. This is just the beginning as I start my list of applying these fundamentals to my 'art'. Dailies, weeklys, monthly's. Impatience knaws at me as I want to be done with 'lessons' (though we're never really done with those are we?), create the outline and move onward.

The world according to...

The headline news. At times it feels so remote we can look at it, shake our head and go tsk, tsk. Then go about our daily business and wonder how our lives can change. It is when something happens to someone we know or care about that shakes our reverie and seems to open the 'door' per se to include us in the 'world'.
No nothing has happened, as far as I know, to anyone I know or love. I had a call over the weekend from my friends celebrating two of their birthdays. Listening to their banter I was there with them in a sense thousands of miles away. It momentarily opened my 'door' to the world bringing a nostelgic feeling of our 'get away' weekends.
I'm starting to miss the 'outside' world in varying degrees. Don't get me wrong, I still love the Canyon and am thankful for the many blessings it's presence has bestowed to me. I've read further down in altitude the flowers are blooming in abundance. I look forward to that here. Maybe it's 'cabin fever', it just feels like something more.
Yesterday as I was walking from my work to Mike's work I was 'challenged' on the footpath by a small buck. We both stopped and eyed each other closely, his muscles tense as there was a group of does and a few other bucks nearby pausing to wait his decision. I smiled and said 'I seem to be on your footpath.'. Turned to walk down a small hill to give him room and avoided looking at his eyes to 'challenge' him, and stopped when I was a small distance to see their progress. It was then I noticed some tourist making their way to them the flashes on their point and shoots going off. I yelled "Please do not approach the animals." and sighed in relief when they walked the other way. It becomes frustrating watching the actions of others sometimes. Maybe a lot of people don't realize this is not a zoo, or Disney and have taken for granted the 'safety' those places and the towns and cities we live in provide. It's only going to get a lot worse as we get more people visiting. Once we're in full swing with tourist I'm sure I'll look back on this 'quiet' time with nostelgia.
It is usually during a 'quiet' time when we delve inside to take a mental stock and take into considerations our actions, reactions, and setting up new footpaths to follow. It is here where change in us occurs that affect our lives later. Action begins with a thought, so maybe it's time to start my list.

Who shook the snow globe?

Yesterday was a silvery day. The world, at least my world, was frosted with a sugar coating of white. The sun and sky, buffered by the weather, colored this world in a silvery grey. Though we 'know' the sun to be yellow, the color was absorbed to reflect a different light.

It snowed on and off in the early afternoon I commented to a co-worker about how pretty it was. "It's like living in a snow globe" was her reply. When the flakes grew fatter I asked her "Who shook the snow globe?" "I don't know," she replied, "but I'd sure like to slug em." I could only laugh as I imagined what we look like in our 'snowglobe'; and wonder at the multi dimensions of existance as though I gazed through MC Escher's eyes...

Ahhh..

The middle of another work week and it feels good to be home. The wind is really whipping today it blows in another front with great possibilities of snow. Remember I've stopped predicting this mico weather? But it soon shall pass after another dress up of the canyon and get near 60 for the weekend. Most of the foot paths have melted and I'm surprised at how little mud there is. I hope it helps the water tables.

Susan's home work place, Yavapai, will open soon. The restaurant manager is sick of hearing about 'the chicken'. If you get there early enough it's decent. But...it's a different fare of food then what is available at the other cafeteria choices (employee cafeteria and Maswik). I must be getting acclimatized as a few (very few) items are palatable. Scary. After about a year, Wendy's will be like a gormet meal. haha.

Tomorrow is Valentine's day. Last year I was growling about brides and their problems. This year I celebrate with my own valentine, Mike. Nothing really planned beside curling up next to each other and watching the snow. But it's the journey that creates the memories. Considering it's that time of the week, for accounting anyways, I may be home late yet again; but then maybe not. We'll see, as long as everything balances. (IT WILL). Went to the camera club last night. I only took about 7 pictures and got a nice compliment on my b/w; 'looks like Ansel Adams'. The tree that I purposely created patterns with the lights went over big. This last weekend it was beautiful out. We went to the Kolb studio for a tour and were lucky enough to get Stew Fritz. He's an older ranger, but played the part of one of the Kolb brothers very well. It would be nice to see the History Channel do a re-inactment, with him as the narrator. I've seen him perform the raven ranger talk, now Mike and I can't wait to catch his 'rim to rim with William Shakespear'. I'm sure that will be worthy of a blog all its own.

The days may pass, but I attempt to notice the blessings: a small bird pecking for food close to my feet, the smell of the pines in the breeze. Then of course there are the big blessings as the canyon dresses for display, or the vibrant oranges in the sunset setting a fire in the sky. It is amazing. Soon it's time to start down, into the canyon. One step at a time; to notice the many blessings it gives freely.

Icicles

One of the finest forms of chaos theory in its natural state.

Though it looks like the sun is rising behind it, it's not, this is facing West. It was taken early in the am, and the orange light reflecting off of the ice is from the light outside the building. The light in the back ground is the reflection of the sunrise into the West.

I yam, what I yam...

I yam tired! It's only Tuesday and I got more ot tonight finishing up and striving to keep on schedule. I'm learning, things are making sense, some still make me pause but it's all a learning process.


We had A LOT more snow over the weekend. It was beautiful walking from work last night in the snow, there was no wind. I called a yaya friend and she told me it was 80 degrees in Florida yesterday. It was nice to see the sun this morning, the snow is still deep and icicles flowing nearly touching the top of the snow on the ground. It's beautiful seeing such pristine white cover the ground, occasionally interrupted by animal tracks. There's a little bunny that hops around our window in the wee hours. The tracks were prominant this morning, caught a look at it the other day. It's so cute.

I am looking forward to spring. With all this snow, it should help the water tables and create an abundant spring. It'll be interesting to see what differences there are in the flowers and such. Not to mention getting home and it still be daylight, even if I do work overtime.

I am...

I am
The winter
The snow that glitters
The breath of frosty air
The quiet shooshing as the world is tucked in

I am
The fall
The brilliance of color in riotous abandonment
The crispness in the air
The gentle sleepy beauty as the world starts to slumber

I am
The summer
The heat of the sun absorbing into each pore
The laughter of children playing in the rain
The heartbeat eard in the crickets lullabye

I am
The spring
The scent of earth enhancing presence
The colors of varigations drawing out the senses
The world waking up in wonder and beauty.

I am

Happy February

A few days in. Yesterday Mike, Glen and I went to Flagstaff to do some much needed grocery shopping. It was flurrying when we left the canyon. I was a bit sad as I realized I really miss living in a town. The small things we take for granted; running to the store to pick up one item, going to the movies, being able to go to the post office and send off packages after hours. It was when we were having lunch at Cracker Barrell I really missed MJ and Terry. I wanted to call them, meet them and go see a movie; or just be in their presence. We stopped in Williams on our way back - the grocery store has good prices on meat and some other items, and it started flurrying on our way back to the canyon. It's an hour and a half to Flagstaff, so when one goes the value of one's time is important; it becomes a full 8-10 hour day to get in the shopping one wants or needs, and it's easy to be exhausted when you get home. I would like to get to know the town more intimately, as it's a cute little town. Reminds me a lot of St. Augustine but Western style. I love the Canyon, it's presence is a sanctuary, but there is so much more here I'm itching to discover. This made me think of Florida and some of the great places we've all seen, and those not seen I still see the painting in my mind as MJ, Terry and I kayaked in Guano State Park. Flashes of images, mostly of friends kept going through my mind yesterday as I pictured them here. Terry of course would be cold and certainly wouldn't like the snow for too long, but MJ would love it. I would love to see this part of my world through their eyes.
I didn't take my camera with me; it was nice to just notice a few things and be part of it; the way snow clouds covered part of a mountain leaving the top exposed, the crevices or even smoothness of rocks. No matter where I go there is beauty. Recognized or not, it is there. Quiet in the soft voice of spirit, it is when we notice it becomes part of us.
Once at home it felt good to re-organize our little kitchen more, washing the new dishes, and silverware, setting up the garbage can and getting rid of the cardboard box we used for trash. It's been frustrating at times but it's a slow process of appreciation. Living in this little village has been a step back in time with the VERY limited services (see comments above), and no street address' only a P O Box number to retrieve one's mail. I miss having a car, if nothing else but to get out on a weekend when I'm off but I do enjoy getting out and walking if not for just leisure but necessity; to the cafe for breakfast or lunch, home or by the rim. I love seeing animal tracks in the snow, the colors in the sky, the smell of pine from the forest and hearing the breeze talk through the trees (even if it is freezing). I look forward to spring and wonder at the flowers that will bloom and look forward to discovering how they color the landscape. It's very nice being able to share these wonders with Mike as we both see, feel and sense life and it's continuing discoveries. Talking, hiking or just being we are learning about each other and our worlds and what has made us into what we are at this moment.
Slowly I'm learning to balance work, play and art. It's an evolutionary process much like nature, slow enough to be barely noticable but when it is noticed a new evolution process has already begun. The world is our oyster and we are it's pearl; made of it to be of it. Let beauty comfort you when you find it has captured your attention; even for just a moment.

Walking on ice

Well it's more like shuffling really. At least until I bought some yak traks tonight. I walked from my work to the Bright Angel to meet Mike; while I was waiting I wandered into the gift shop hoping they would have at least the crampons. Yes it sounds bad, but they work; barely. I was tickled to find the tracs and bought them. As the world outside has been blustery with '1 or more' inches of snow (it's turning out to be 'or more'; a lot more), I look forward to the beauty it will be. Now I won't fear walking the rim as much to get more fabulous pictures. I am eternally thankful for the fake rabbit fur hat I bought in London, and the suede lambswool lined coat I got in Georgia. I stay snuggly warm as the wind blows the white stuff around to decorate the landscape as the trees talk.