Sunday, March 30, 2008

New Discoveries

Yesterday Mike needed to go to Flag for a CAT scan. A very nice co-worker friend took us. As we started out early we found a store she had wanted to see, Mike and I enjoyed it's presence as well. Since we had some time to kill we drove around and found a little open aired 'mall'. I use that word sparingly as it's still in the building process but I was thrilled to see some of my favorite stores there, especially Marshall's. There was a new one called World Market we decided to wander into and were overjoyed at the colors, scents and prices. When we took Mike to the hospital Paula and I wandered back to Marshall's. After picking him up and having lunch we went to Home Depot (in the same 'mall') after getting what Paula needed Mike and I both gravitated to the garden department. I had to smell the fresh basil multiple times, each time burying my nose in the fragrant leaves and inhaling deeply. Seeing that I have no political ambitions, YES I INHALED!!. Oh that was something else, nevermind.

I thought of MJ often, especially in World Market. Going down the aisles of unique food items reminded me of her, our trip to London, and how she inspires anyone she is near to try new things. Such the adventurous spirit she is. So Mike picked up a few things, I did too and found some chocolate thins made with Belgium chocolate...OMG they are HEAVEN. Another memory of London when MJ re-introduced me to chocolate, european chocolate in London; reinventing the love I thought I had lost and mourned. (blasphamy) Mike liked the shop so much we've declared it a danger zone; together. Paula concurred.

Leaving there we did the usual stop at WallyWorld. Walking in I smiled as I remembered the first time Susan and I got out of the canyon and ventured into the unfamilar territory. I was shaken leaving my quiet sanctuary to venture into what felt like a crowd. This time it was rejuvinating, though with a pang of regret as this was our last stop before going back home to the canyon. I realized how much I miss the 'civilized' world, I miss being able to go at my own whim (in my own car), do and see what I want. I wonder about the differences and consider for a moment if my move to the Canyon was a way to realign my spirit onto the axis it had fallen so far off. I had a beautiful place in a beautiful town with beautiful people, but was missing something so much more it was unidentifiable; though those close to me know the many different reasons, it was a necessary step. Does the step have to be so drastic? Sometimes, as I know there have been those who have honestly spoke to me about being jealous they couldn't do the same thing; I could hear the ache in their soul as they uttered their words. Mankind has always been a bit nomadic, some more then others. Many times my siblings and I would quip, or groan and moan about our 'gypsy blood' or our 'gyspy feet' aching to move on.

The trip to town got my imagination going to dream of a place to plant for a while. Literally and figuratively. That seems such a vague dream right now, but where ever I move onto I look forward. The best part is the richness added with Michael at my side and I by his, as we both contemplate and toss around ideas of the next steps to get where we want to set roots. Into the soil of our future together.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Building blocks

Gosh has it been a week already?? Taking the time off from last Thursday to Monday was necessary. Unfortunately it wasn't enough for Michael as he's experiencing more headaches and such whereas mine are more minor discomforts; ie; stiffness, a twinge here and there. But we are taking it one step at a time for healing and life.
Learning to balance is and always seems to be the most difficult. He told me this morning he misses me working on my photos and drawings, where I miss his music. I know personally we both have time to chose to do those things we love; it's a matter of stopping the 'time suckers'. You know, computer playing, television, so in my head that whiny voice that says 'I don't have time', is false. Recognizing that for me personally is important, it doesn't apply to anyone but me.
Last night the movie 'Field of Dreams' was on. I've never seen it completely, only in bits, but I finally got to watch most of it. Along with that have been what I call 'signs', whether it'd be quips of conversations, images or just plain dreams there's been a connection. That may end up being a blog or a personal journal entry later but it is part of the building blocks.
Mike and I are officially engaged, however the date remains elusive as there are choices we consider important for our wedding. Many things run through my mind from the material things (rings, clothing, etc), to the non material items, (time, place, wording, etc).
I mention the wedding as it's one of our building blocks in our future together; and how it will affect not only ourselves but those that are in our lives as we take our steps together blending our worlds. Part of our building blocks.

Friday, March 21, 2008


Both of us went to the clinic Thursday. Despite the pressures from jobs, mostly mine, we're off through the weekend. Mike has a concussion, me I have spasiming muscles. Frankly I don't feel them spasm all that much - occassionally, but they stay pretty much tight. I start physical therapy on the 28th, if I still feel as tight as I am I'll insist on xrays before hand. Personally I think a 4 day weekend at a spa would be perfect. It should also be deductable, because of the medicinal benefits it would entail. I know a great massage, a hot tub, a pool and just all out relaxing would induce a healthier way of healing rather then drugs (I wish we could be closer to Terri's house), but alas that just isn't happening. So I take the drug with reluctance and in my mind we're at Terri's Health Spa getting well.
Susan left this morning, heading back to St. Pete to help her grandson. I hope she does well with changing his complete environment. I know she's happy to be going back, she will be missed, but it is with anticipation she find her joy in life.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Some of the best decisions are made over morning coffee

This morning as Mike and I were pausing from our computers, he sat next to me and asked me to marry him. I said yes. Now where is that paper bag to breathe into??? So world, here is Mike. He's so cute.
I have been asked if it was the accident that prompted the question. Yes and no. He had been thinking about it for a while, and the accident proved how short life can be.
It will be somewhere here in the Canyon, but all other details will be decided upon soon.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Life's changing moments

Life changing events often cause a ripple of events that affect us for the rest of our lives. Whether it be through birth, death, accident, or what ever it reaches to those who are near, far and unknown. Life happens, even if it's in that flash of a last second before one is caught up in a cataclysmic moment. Sometimes it takes years to come out of the darkness, but when one can open their eyes and smile from their soul the world is beauty; in the kindness of a strangers words, the embrace of a loved one, the voice of your best friend, even in the ache of a sore muscle. One feels the connection in their soul to life in its purest form.
Taking Mike's hand as he helped me from the mangled formation that was formerly a vehicle, became a nexus . When we stepped away still holding onto each other it became a transformed world for us. Calamitous at first, until we saw and felt more stirrings of life. There are those that are less fortunate for them I grieve and hope they find their way through the darkness to smile yet again as they turn their face to the sun.

NOT on my list of things to do....

Life is great, and I am so thankful Mike and I are alive. Yesterday, 3/16/08 around 1230pm there was a MASSIVE pileup on interstate 40 in Flagstaff and we were in the middle of it. Borrowed a friends Geo and went to Flag to do some shopping. On the way back Mike was driving 30mph, because of white out conditions and ice on the road. It took us 1/2 mile to come to a stop, but we did and thought whew were safe, until he heard the honking of a semi out of control 1/2 mile behind us. Mike got us rolling forward (law of physics), and we were slammed by the jackknifing trailer, pushed like a pinball between a panel truck, another semi and a couple of suvs. As soon as the trailer hit us our seats flipped back and with the impact on myside, the glass from my door flew in, and part of the windshield. I think it was the seats releasing themselves that saved us. Once we came to a stop, (it spinned us completely around) Mike had me wait a moment - incase there was going to be more coming at us, and we then quickly exited the car through the drivers side as our full gas tank was now empty on the road. His door was working, mine was crushed in. I have superficial lacerations on my face (really light ones), my neck, right thigh, and back is achy from tense muscles, Mike's the same way without the cuts, but we WALKED away from it. We walked around for 3 hours calling people and insurance companies, while the rescue teams took care of triage, then asked about getting checked out and had to walk down hill about a half a mile, cross over to the East bound lane (which had the same problem - 70 cars on West bound where we were, 50 on East bound), then we climbed into an ambulance and was taken to a sub clinic of the local hospital. They were innundated, but did a fantastic job. Once we got released we got a got a taxi, hotel room, took a shower and ate dinner and relaxed as much as we could. The interstate finally opened at 430 this morning so we called Flagstaff Express and got home. Everyone has been really nice, from us being out of work to the guy who's car we borrowed. I got email addresses from several people who took pictures of our car, and once they found out which car we were in most shook our hands and said 'happy your alive', So are we.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Canyon time...

A step out of 'reality'. I've met a lot of people and know them by name; it's important, we all like to hear our names being called out in recognition, and all refer to living outside of the canyon as 'being in the outside world.' After all where else does one's electric bill reflect the most on the first bill (under $50) and the subsequent bills be half that! It certainly doesn't happen in 'the outside world'. There's also a store where eggs are not $3.69 a dozen, movie theatres to go to, different dining options that offer 'real' food. Not to mention the most important part, those who's lives are connected to yours, but teaching beauty and truth to the following generations with love and integrity. I admire them and miss them.
We're getting a host of international people in. Mostly young people in their early 20's. Met a few of them on the shuttle a couple of days ago. Beautiful, sweet and full of life. Yesterday at lunch I was listening to conversations all around me, in various different languages. As I looked I saw out of the corner of my eye the shadow of the faces of our girls. Like the dancing butterfly and dragonfly the image flittered beyond. I smiled sadly as my heart ached a bit and listened a little more. Out side perched in a tree was a child raven. It looked more like the crows I've seen in Florida, but it was exercising it's vocal cords beautifully. I laughed outloud when it sounded like a dolphin playing, excited at the connecting sounds of spirit.
Was it just escapism coming here? I imagine and wonder how my sister-friends would flourish were they in the same shoes, knowing their strengths and stamina how deeply rich they would set out to adventure.
No feathers found, but the wind in the trees embrace the chill as winter grasps with apprehension to release the world to spring.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


Time and people are restless. A break from the mundane is building. When we all capitulate events will then eruct as volcanos creating new land mass to build on. Maybe it's the changes in the weather that stir our pots of energies; as our minds feed on the many seeds of inspiration daring us to nurture one or more to create those changes we ache for in our lives. As adults we've learned, sometimes the hard way, that our actions create ripples of effects well into our futures...and past. How we react, employ, or utilize the changes is the basis of the change and constitues the memories in the journey we face and how we perceive them from the past.

I know for myself the same seed gets planted every year and like a very slow growing tree the roots grow a little deeper and the leaves stretch towards the sun opening every pore to abosorb the nurturing energy. It is of course art. It is when the 'mundane' of physical survival questions the nature that the nature quietly moves to the sidelines and interjects at auspicious moments. For others it is something else entirely. But deep inside we have those desires, wishes, dreams or any other euphamism you use; waiting patiently for those moments to stretch each pore in the sun absorbing the nurturing energy to flower.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Traffic Jams

I was taking a break yesterday, enjoying the sun when I looked down the road and saw a line of cars with break lights on. Here in the canyon we have different terms for traffic jams. Elk jams. Squirrel jams. Deer jams. Toe jams. What it all constitutes is still yet another line to wait in while someone takes a picture. (Of toes? Well I suppose some people can't help but get their feet in the picture.)
Since they're 'jams' how about we just call them a party? Picture the elk band with sunglasses playing instruments...Is this what happens in space as the flying spacecraft slowly drifts by as they ooo and ahhh out their viewing portals watching 'primitive beings' in their natural habitat?
Another part of the snowglobe effect.

Friday, March 07, 2008

This week is the week of inventory. Counting each and every little item that is sold in all of the retail shops here in the Canyon. No we don't count the little rocks, just the big ones. lol. As my boss pointed out it's a good way to see what you may want to get in July when we have our 'Christmas in July' special discount for employees. Frankly what I'd like to see is my artwork in the stores. Research ongoing, so who knows.

Most of the snow is gone, what remains are little bits here and there and the tourist are coming in. It's a bit of a relief after a slow season; though I know soon I won't even want to venture near the rim as it will be too crowded.

The artwork is still hung at the rec center for the community art show we had a couple of weeks ago. A few people sold their items. I received a lot of comments on mine but does it count when it doesn't sell? Counting, seems to be the theme of the week; so count your blessings and revel in the joy they give.