Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Bucket List

I just noticed as I looked at the movie section of my Yahoo, (teasing myself really), the title of the movie caught my attention. Then the actors, very strong and exceptional in performances, then I read what it's about. I won't go into what it's about but the message.
I remember a time when I moved to be close to my children, with the help of my best sister-friend. a free airline ticket I won from work and a couple of suit cases (not even a job) I moved. Without the connection of those that helped, yes even my 1st ex and his wife, it would not have been possible. The connections with others are an exceptionally important part.
I got my own place and a job. I remember vividly talking to MJ one night as I sat on the floor in my very empty apartment, books scattered as I used the library often and she had told me it was the perfect time to make 'a list'. With all the emptiness was room for opportunity, and believe me there was a lot of room. Without reasoning for costs, affordability I wrote. How I wanted to furnish my apartment, things I wanted not just needed, including vacations like going to London and on a cruise.
Time went by, a year actually, when I was cleaning my apartment and came accross that list and laughed a little teary eyed as I saw I had everything and done everything I wanted. Having such a clean slate did prove there was room for opportunity. That was where I think I started 'living'. Not every step was happy go lucky, my friends and family can attest to that. The death of my child was and still is the darkest time that changed the sense of 'living' even further; sometimes challenging.
Through the agony of that dark time, it has created beauty. Appreciation of life, the short time we have. It is in our hands to do with what we want, be where we want and experience what we want. It's the memories we carry forth with us after all the material things we've gathered are gone that define the truth in us.
Tonight, someone or thing is shaking the snowglobe again covering the anticipated lunar eclipse. It's creating a world of white quiet wonder again. Despite being a little disappointed, I am comforted by the beauty in the blanket of white covering the outside world. Like money (the lack or abundance of)or the brief, and sometimes downright depressions; these will pass. 'This too shall pass' has been an affirmation I've said to myself ALOT...and it does, as the sun shines again so do the flowers bloom and so on.
So I chase after the rainbows, and absorb the memories the journey takes creating my 'list' as I go along. Right now it just happens to be in the Grand Canyon. One of the 7 wonders of the world, and it certainly is a wonder in all different lights. To paraphrase a well known commercial..."what's on your list?"


Anonymous said...

I saw this movie and mentioned it in my blog, but, never made a list.As it's to far fetched for me it will never happen.
But, again I envy what you have done. I couldn't. I know that for a fact, it won't even take a 3am conversation.
But, IM proud of you! and I said the other day too my friend. AS NANCY SAY'S THIS TOO SHALL PASS*-

Mari-jane said...

We missed you too!!! Love ya, MJ