Friday, February 29, 2008


A taste of Spring as it reaches to 67 degrees today. I know those in Florida would be putting jackets on. This morning when I walked out my door it was in the 20's. I wore my jean jacket and gloves, it felt good. Saw a herd of deer as I walked to Mike's work to meet him for breakfast. More then 10 does and 2 bucks. More of a harem if you ask me, but they were pretty just the same. If we get up early enough (we usually do) we might see other types - hopefully big horn sheep by the El Tovar. To be continued...

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Even more winter

Yes, more winter. Friday we had more snow, even lightning and thunder. What a wild combination. I am really looking forward to spring, but in the meantime (that wonderful word)...Mike and I went out for a walk on Saturday. The sun came out and it starting melting quickly. It was funny, almost like Nature was having a snowball fight, just daring us to stand under a tree to plop a load of snow on our heads. Susan came close as we ran into her after our photo outing.

Some of the trees looked cartoonish like the one on the left. Reminded me of Dr. Seuss.

We started out on the road near out house, walked to the rec center; despite how snowy it is it wasn't that cold. I didn't realize until we were leaving the rec center I had it on black and white, but that's okay. They came out pretty good. I've taken some pretty good pictures if I do say so myself, getting better. I find if I zoom it in 3 or 4 to 1 and I can see the details it's a good picture.

Going through these Mike commented on how some of them would make an interesting puzzle. Hmm, life is like that; sometimes a big confusing puzzle until you see the big beautiful picture.

Can you see the blue sky in one of these? It's like Waldo, some where in there. This is a good time to review the textures in the trunks, observe te differences between the juniper and pines. They both smell devine in a fireplace however I've observed when Juniper wood is burned peoples allergies are kicked into high gear.(including mine) My theory is the pollen is still whole and 'ingrained' in the wood, when it is burned it is released into the area.

Despite all the winter, I still feel the stirring of spring. Starting to see different birds come up from the warmth of the canyon; there was even a Javalina running down the road by the Bright Angel last week. That's a rare sight up here on the rim. Those behind the desk didn't realize it, even when they got comment cards regarding the pig outside their room. Some thought it was metaphorical. Well at least the pig wasn't in the room, or in some cases was; but symbols come in many forms...
Most of this melted off the trees by Sunday evening, natures way of showing how quickly change can occur whether we notice or not.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Bucket List

I just noticed as I looked at the movie section of my Yahoo, (teasing myself really), the title of the movie caught my attention. Then the actors, very strong and exceptional in performances, then I read what it's about. I won't go into what it's about but the message.
I remember a time when I moved to be close to my children, with the help of my best sister-friend. a free airline ticket I won from work and a couple of suit cases (not even a job) I moved. Without the connection of those that helped, yes even my 1st ex and his wife, it would not have been possible. The connections with others are an exceptionally important part.
I got my own place and a job. I remember vividly talking to MJ one night as I sat on the floor in my very empty apartment, books scattered as I used the library often and she had told me it was the perfect time to make 'a list'. With all the emptiness was room for opportunity, and believe me there was a lot of room. Without reasoning for costs, affordability I wrote. How I wanted to furnish my apartment, things I wanted not just needed, including vacations like going to London and on a cruise.
Time went by, a year actually, when I was cleaning my apartment and came accross that list and laughed a little teary eyed as I saw I had everything and done everything I wanted. Having such a clean slate did prove there was room for opportunity. That was where I think I started 'living'. Not every step was happy go lucky, my friends and family can attest to that. The death of my child was and still is the darkest time that changed the sense of 'living' even further; sometimes challenging.
Through the agony of that dark time, it has created beauty. Appreciation of life, the short time we have. It is in our hands to do with what we want, be where we want and experience what we want. It's the memories we carry forth with us after all the material things we've gathered are gone that define the truth in us.
Tonight, someone or thing is shaking the snowglobe again covering the anticipated lunar eclipse. It's creating a world of white quiet wonder again. Despite being a little disappointed, I am comforted by the beauty in the blanket of white covering the outside world. Like money (the lack or abundance of)or the brief, and sometimes downright depressions; these will pass. 'This too shall pass' has been an affirmation I've said to myself ALOT...and it does, as the sun shines again so do the flowers bloom and so on.
So I chase after the rainbows, and absorb the memories the journey takes creating my 'list' as I go along. Right now it just happens to be in the Grand Canyon. One of the 7 wonders of the world, and it certainly is a wonder in all different lights. To paraphrase a well known commercial..."what's on your list?"


Mike is often reminding me that to eat an elephant one takes one small bite at a time. Then he takes me in his arms as I decompress from work.
I'll be in my new job 7 weeks this week. I have moments of 'eurika' soon to be followed by 'am I over my head?' as yet another challenge comes to my face or I missed something. Accounting is not the place to miss anything.
Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, and I know there is 'growing pains' involved, but I do have doubts. (It's te 'growing pains' that feel like one is morphing into an unknown being that can be painful). Wondering.
I knew going in it would be a challenge; looking at contributing factors as lessons to assist in what I do 'outside' as a way to formulate structure. This is just the beginning as I start my list of applying these fundamentals to my 'art'. Dailies, weeklys, monthly's. Impatience knaws at me as I want to be done with 'lessons' (though we're never really done with those are we?), create the outline and move onward.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The world according to...

The headline news. At times it feels so remote we can look at it, shake our head and go tsk, tsk. Then go about our daily business and wonder how our lives can change. It is when something happens to someone we know or care about that shakes our reverie and seems to open the 'door' per se to include us in the 'world'.
No nothing has happened, as far as I know, to anyone I know or love. I had a call over the weekend from my friends celebrating two of their birthdays. Listening to their banter I was there with them in a sense thousands of miles away. It momentarily opened my 'door' to the world bringing a nostelgic feeling of our 'get away' weekends.
I'm starting to miss the 'outside' world in varying degrees. Don't get me wrong, I still love the Canyon and am thankful for the many blessings it's presence has bestowed to me. I've read further down in altitude the flowers are blooming in abundance. I look forward to that here. Maybe it's 'cabin fever', it just feels like something more.
Yesterday as I was walking from my work to Mike's work I was 'challenged' on the footpath by a small buck. We both stopped and eyed each other closely, his muscles tense as there was a group of does and a few other bucks nearby pausing to wait his decision. I smiled and said 'I seem to be on your footpath.'. Turned to walk down a small hill to give him room and avoided looking at his eyes to 'challenge' him, and stopped when I was a small distance to see their progress. It was then I noticed some tourist making their way to them the flashes on their point and shoots going off. I yelled "Please do not approach the animals." and sighed in relief when they walked the other way. It becomes frustrating watching the actions of others sometimes. Maybe a lot of people don't realize this is not a zoo, or Disney and have taken for granted the 'safety' those places and the towns and cities we live in provide. It's only going to get a lot worse as we get more people visiting. Once we're in full swing with tourist I'm sure I'll look back on this 'quiet' time with nostelgia.
It is usually during a 'quiet' time when we delve inside to take a mental stock and take into considerations our actions, reactions, and setting up new footpaths to follow. It is here where change in us occurs that affect our lives later. Action begins with a thought, so maybe it's time to start my list.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Who shook the snow globe?

Yesterday was a silvery day. The world, at least my world, was frosted with a sugar coating of white. The sun and sky, buffered by the weather, colored this world in a silvery grey. Though we 'know' the sun to be yellow, the color was absorbed to reflect a different light.

It snowed on and off in the early afternoon I commented to a co-worker about how pretty it was. "It's like living in a snow globe" was her reply. When the flakes grew fatter I asked her "Who shook the snow globe?" "I don't know," she replied, "but I'd sure like to slug em." I could only laugh as I imagined what we look like in our 'snowglobe'; and wonder at the multi dimensions of existance as though I gazed through MC Escher's eyes...

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


The middle of another work week and it feels good to be home. The wind is really whipping today it blows in another front with great possibilities of snow. Remember I've stopped predicting this mico weather? But it soon shall pass after another dress up of the canyon and get near 60 for the weekend. Most of the foot paths have melted and I'm surprised at how little mud there is. I hope it helps the water tables.

Susan's home work place, Yavapai, will open soon. The restaurant manager is sick of hearing about 'the chicken'. If you get there early enough it's decent.'s a different fare of food then what is available at the other cafeteria choices (employee cafeteria and Maswik). I must be getting acclimatized as a few (very few) items are palatable. Scary. After about a year, Wendy's will be like a gormet meal. haha.

Tomorrow is Valentine's day. Last year I was growling about brides and their problems. This year I celebrate with my own valentine, Mike. Nothing really planned beside curling up next to each other and watching the snow. But it's the journey that creates the memories. Considering it's that time of the week, for accounting anyways, I may be home late yet again; but then maybe not. We'll see, as long as everything balances. (IT WILL). Went to the camera club last night. I only took about 7 pictures and got a nice compliment on my b/w; 'looks like Ansel Adams'. The tree that I purposely created patterns with the lights went over big. This last weekend it was beautiful out. We went to the Kolb studio for a tour and were lucky enough to get Stew Fritz. He's an older ranger, but played the part of one of the Kolb brothers very well. It would be nice to see the History Channel do a re-inactment, with him as the narrator. I've seen him perform the raven ranger talk, now Mike and I can't wait to catch his 'rim to rim with William Shakespear'. I'm sure that will be worthy of a blog all its own.

The days may pass, but I attempt to notice the blessings: a small bird pecking for food close to my feet, the smell of the pines in the breeze. Then of course there are the big blessings as the canyon dresses for display, or the vibrant oranges in the sunset setting a fire in the sky. It is amazing. Soon it's time to start down, into the canyon. One step at a time; to notice the many blessings it gives freely.

Friday, February 08, 2008


One of the finest forms of chaos theory in its natural state.

Though it looks like the sun is rising behind it, it's not, this is facing West. It was taken early in the am, and the orange light reflecting off of the ice is from the light outside the building. The light in the back ground is the reflection of the sunrise into the West.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I yam, what I yam...

I yam tired! It's only Tuesday and I got more ot tonight finishing up and striving to keep on schedule. I'm learning, things are making sense, some still make me pause but it's all a learning process.

We had A LOT more snow over the weekend. It was beautiful walking from work last night in the snow, there was no wind. I called a yaya friend and she told me it was 80 degrees in Florida yesterday. It was nice to see the sun this morning, the snow is still deep and icicles flowing nearly touching the top of the snow on the ground. It's beautiful seeing such pristine white cover the ground, occasionally interrupted by animal tracks. There's a little bunny that hops around our window in the wee hours. The tracks were prominant this morning, caught a look at it the other day. It's so cute.

I am looking forward to spring. With all this snow, it should help the water tables and create an abundant spring. It'll be interesting to see what differences there are in the flowers and such. Not to mention getting home and it still be daylight, even if I do work overtime.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

I am...

I am
The winter
The snow that glitters
The breath of frosty air
The quiet shooshing as the world is tucked in

I am
The fall
The brilliance of color in riotous abandonment
The crispness in the air
The gentle sleepy beauty as the world starts to slumber

I am
The summer
The heat of the sun absorbing into each pore
The laughter of children playing in the rain
The heartbeat eard in the crickets lullabye

I am
The spring
The scent of earth enhancing presence
The colors of varigations drawing out the senses
The world waking up in wonder and beauty.

I am

Happy February

A few days in. Yesterday Mike, Glen and I went to Flagstaff to do some much needed grocery shopping. It was flurrying when we left the canyon. I was a bit sad as I realized I really miss living in a town. The small things we take for granted; running to the store to pick up one item, going to the movies, being able to go to the post office and send off packages after hours. It was when we were having lunch at Cracker Barrell I really missed MJ and Terry. I wanted to call them, meet them and go see a movie; or just be in their presence. We stopped in Williams on our way back - the grocery store has good prices on meat and some other items, and it started flurrying on our way back to the canyon. It's an hour and a half to Flagstaff, so when one goes the value of one's time is important; it becomes a full 8-10 hour day to get in the shopping one wants or needs, and it's easy to be exhausted when you get home. I would like to get to know the town more intimately, as it's a cute little town. Reminds me a lot of St. Augustine but Western style. I love the Canyon, it's presence is a sanctuary, but there is so much more here I'm itching to discover. This made me think of Florida and some of the great places we've all seen, and those not seen I still see the painting in my mind as MJ, Terry and I kayaked in Guano State Park. Flashes of images, mostly of friends kept going through my mind yesterday as I pictured them here. Terry of course would be cold and certainly wouldn't like the snow for too long, but MJ would love it. I would love to see this part of my world through their eyes.
I didn't take my camera with me; it was nice to just notice a few things and be part of it; the way snow clouds covered part of a mountain leaving the top exposed, the crevices or even smoothness of rocks. No matter where I go there is beauty. Recognized or not, it is there. Quiet in the soft voice of spirit, it is when we notice it becomes part of us.
Once at home it felt good to re-organize our little kitchen more, washing the new dishes, and silverware, setting up the garbage can and getting rid of the cardboard box we used for trash. It's been frustrating at times but it's a slow process of appreciation. Living in this little village has been a step back in time with the VERY limited services (see comments above), and no street address' only a P O Box number to retrieve one's mail. I miss having a car, if nothing else but to get out on a weekend when I'm off but I do enjoy getting out and walking if not for just leisure but necessity; to the cafe for breakfast or lunch, home or by the rim. I love seeing animal tracks in the snow, the colors in the sky, the smell of pine from the forest and hearing the breeze talk through the trees (even if it is freezing). I look forward to spring and wonder at the flowers that will bloom and look forward to discovering how they color the landscape. It's very nice being able to share these wonders with Mike as we both see, feel and sense life and it's continuing discoveries. Talking, hiking or just being we are learning about each other and our worlds and what has made us into what we are at this moment.
Slowly I'm learning to balance work, play and art. It's an evolutionary process much like nature, slow enough to be barely noticable but when it is noticed a new evolution process has already begun. The world is our oyster and we are it's pearl; made of it to be of it. Let beauty comfort you when you find it has captured your attention; even for just a moment.