The Adventure Begins...

It seemed like a blur to get from Florida to the Grand Canyon but we made it here on Monday August 20th. Thank you MJ for the beautiful card that brought on the waterworks, you always have a way to do that.

Pictures do not do the canyon justice, there is just no replacing looking at it from one's own eyes. Exquisite, beautiful, and any other definitive terms one could describe beauty is not enough. It brought tears to my eyes to see it, one can smell the pine in the air. The animals are unique in their environment; it still amazes me to look over my shoulder and see it there.

I will be back on line 9/4, at that point I will post pictures of the 12 point elk that decided to have his dinner at the local juniper tree across the street from us. Boy are we tourist! When the mule deer decided to have a late night snack under our window that's when I started feeling like a character from Northern Exposure. Good thing I loved that show.

When one door closes...

Freedom! Shouted from within the walls of home. A healthy hand clap from David as I emerged no longer en employee of the hotel. My nerves gave a current of unknown excitement with the butterflies flapping. It was really nice how many people sought me out to give a hug. The 'best damned chocolate chip cookies' were gone in record time - 2 hours, Jeff brought in baked ziti, another great pasta dish with ham, peas and a cream of mushroom sauce and a bodacious spinich salad with tropical fruits - yum. I turned in the very unflattering blue shirts, my name tag and walked out the front doors.

Today I still think I'm just having a day off, and think I have to get up for work, when the work is more clearing of my abode. It's strange to see it so bare. David has been so nice to help with the use of his truck and muscles for the things for storage. Brad came over today to help, gosh it was good to see him. Thank you my cute young muscley friends - hell at my age any young man under 30 is cute!!!

Of course my best friend T who keeps riding the waves of changes as I call with we'll be there...no plans have changed....etc. Hey now she knows what it's like to be in my loop. Scary, huh?

All in all, after one door closes...walk to the open one.

Butterflies

In my belly. Time draws ever so close to the 17th and the departure date. Still so much to be done, but still a bit accomplished. I cannot thank my friends for all of their help with everything including being the great cheering section they are. Every time I touch the globe on my charm bracelet I think of them and as MJ put it, the connection we have where ever we are.

I look forward to texting on each leg of the journey, and calling with new discoveries. I look forward to hearing the stories from here as time progresses for each one of us. This weekend is my last weekend in St. Pete. Time to say good by to the Yaya's - a different set of friends I've kept over the years from working at a luxury hotel on the beach. 3 out of 4 of us are now grandmothers. Did I ever think about that title bestowment? How do we picture our grandmothers. Though MJ and I are the only two at this point grandmothers in the core group, we like to think, or maybe we are, creating a new imagry our children or grandchildren think of when one hears the term 'grandmother'.

By starting to pack my clothes, the new coats and stuff, I guess that made the determination of the move being more 'real'. It was funny at work, a co-worker commented on me coming back like I did last time. I ended his sentence with 'for a visit' as the last time I left and came back was for a totally different reason. Then I wanted to just close my eyes and not wake up, now I want to keep my eyes wide open.

The Door of Friendship

MJ is the owner of the door as it is through her we've all been brought together. The colors are symbols: Purple, MJ; Blue, Terry; Green, Dori and Red for me. One on each corner though we'll see if she can position mine in the West of her garden decor. In the center is a cumulation of all of us. Can't wait to see it in place, so MJ you've got yet another project.

Dueling Cameras

You've heard of dueling piano's well my brother came by for a visit and in a moment of comradarie we created 'dueling cameras'. Here's my results:

GGW 2007

Here it is, the girls gone WIDE tour 2007. As MJ so eloquently explained it, 30 years ago we all became friends. Back then we were girls gone wild, so now we've become the girls gone wide. Needless to say it was a success, after all where ever we are there is a party. If there isn't one, we make it.

How many years has it been since men stared at our breasts? It was rather funny as many different people, of all different age ranges read our shirts and all had comments like "looks like you still got it", or "you go girls!", or a simple glazed look below the chin line. A couple of us may end up in a college blog somewhere (get your mind out of the gutter we didn't flash any one!) We left it to their imaginations...

Each night or should I say morning we staggered back to the hotel room around 4am. Frankly the beds were SO COMFORTABLE I believe they help alleviate a hangover. Sure did me.

Despite the experience of being a source of joy for those around us, it was another bonding moment as my best friends and I celebrated the depth of friendship we hold sacred. What a send off to the 'wanderer' in the group. At least this wandering is joyously anticipated and gives them another place to visit.

So what do you think girls, GGW2008 in Vegas? Do we dare have a camera person?

It's so hot (even Rocky thinks so)

I wonder

I wonder if there are lightening bugs out West? Will the crickets sound the same? Is it true one can smell the wild sage on the breeze? What is the night music and how will it differ? Can tree frogs live in that climate? Will thunder boom, roll or roar?

I look forward to seeing the stars, I hear one sees more falling stars out there. How will the landscape look painted in the monochrome colors from the moon's watery glow? Do they put Christmas lights on cactus'?

This and so much more....I wonder.

Countdown

Well the count down begins. Today I made my flight reservations to get into Phoenix, the bus ticket will be waiting for me, and the hostel has my reservations for when I get in.

Right now it doesn't feel real. I remember making detailed plans on visiting my new grand daughter, and changing them at the last minute due to judegements of past choices thrown in my face like the rotten egg time turned it into. Hmm how could those be changed and the egg made fresh again? It can't, like the past it's always there; I just don't choose to let the past be my present or future. Choices.

This time I'm not going for anyone by myself, with that said I will say I'm a bit nervous, excited, and not just a bit wistful as anticipation flows. Changes are happening, sometime it moves so slow like erosion we don't see it, but it's building momentum as time draws near. Expectations? I'm striving to keep those at a minimum, as they tend to turn into predispositions which in turn tend to be disappointing. As we all know fantasy is most times better then the reality. I am leaving the expectations open to discovery of new places, new people, and new experiences with hope they are all exceptional.

I will miss my friends. I've come to realize how lucky I am they aren't selfish. Selfish in the fact they aren't trying to guilt me into staying, giving me bad reports of what's happening, or pouting. Instead they have reserved the best cheering section of the bleachers; and I hear their words of encouragement, their hand clapping, hooting and hollering. They and I know we're always with each other no matter how far apart we are and besides it gives them a new place to venture to.

Natures firewords

Surface stuff

Today is yet another day. July 9th. Mercury goes forward tonight, it was 89 degrees but felt like 99, humidity feels like 110%, gas is $2.85 a gallon (at least for my car) and I worked. Surface stuff.

I've been reading a wonderful series of books (Ugh, David I'm going to thump you on the forehead!), about Earth Man. It's written by a husband and wife team, she's an archaeologist and he's an anthropologist. Though the characters may be fiction the events are real, there's even bibliographies in the back for further research. Fascinating reading.

On another venture I've been looking up information regarding the magnetic north pole. What I found coincides with the changes throughout history in the geographical findings dug up. Those thousand years or more were but a blink of an eye or a layer in the rock. Global warming. I had to laugh when I read an article on my news regarding one of the major conferences in which our fearless leader refused to sign with regards to the global warming issue. In it, the article stated (and I'm paraphrasing) something with regards to lowering the global temperature several degrees. Who has their finger on the earth's thermostat? Hmmm, that's what I'd like to know.

Either way, personally, I don't think we have much say in the issue of nature taking it's course; neither did our ancestors thousands of years ago. Have we changed much with regards to beliefs of our climate changes being curses from the unknown all powerful? Not likely. I'm pretty amazed as I read, (yes I know they're fiction!), how similar our governments and social atmosphere hasn't really changed all that much. Even warfare was atrocious. That hasn't changed much either, just the weaponry used.

There is no easy answer, but the same story keeps coming around. Hmm, isn't there a quote somewhere with regards to learning history or be doomed to repeat it?

August 21st 2007

This is the new starting day at the Grand Canyon for my sister and I. Moves it up a bit.

Really?!

Yes, really.

Defined as to bring together again; to compose or form anew. To re ally one with a fact, an idea, a notion, a belief, a statement.

This word used as a form of interjection has been floating around quite a bit this week. Popping up or should I say out of mouths as myself and others come into contact with bits and pieces of information. Nothing distinctive stands out in my mind to give a 'for instance' it's all floating there as if it is it's own.

It stands on it's own when the word comes out as an statement as another has just given us their information. It's like standing on the edge, 'do I believe that?' 'could that person be telling me the truth?' 'could that actually happen?'

Yes, really.

A little inspiration

I checked out a coffee table book by Annie Leibovitz. It was not only exquisite (as I admire tremendously her visions), it was provoking. I espcially loved the placement in the book of Thomas Moore with his group right before the grouping of President Bush. The placement in the book is a statement itself. And ALL of her photos tell a story in every line, composition, and shadow. So I took out the camera and took pictures of my sister and had her take a few of me.

It's a learning process.

Sifting through sand

A friend and I went to a speck of a town in South Carolina. Not much redemption, at least townwise. That is what I mean by sifting through sand. We went to check it out for her; I in my optimistic viewpoint knew there is always something redeming about a small town. As I said before, there wasn't much. Though we didn't take the time to explore the waterways; it looks like a fantastic kayaking place there was a couple of funny moments at my own expense.

We would be sitting at the great little fish store G's friends have, watching the locals and what not. One came in to sit and talk with us. His southern accent was so thick I barely understood him, I would look at him and say "Sorry?" so often he slowed down in talking and looked at me like I was stupid. I could only laugh about it as I realized I didn't understand their slang and twang. When asked what his priorities in life were; he enunciated quite well, "fishing, God, fishing, family, fishing, work, fishing." Who could ask anything more?

That afternoon after a well deserved nap we went to a nearby town called Camden. Exquisite little town. I was playing with my new camera and didn't get as many shots as I wanted, but it was nice. I think I almost became an enemy of the state when our hotel desk clerk had told me proudly how they took part in the Reveloutionary war and have homes from the 1700's. I looked at her strangely and said; "Is that all?" she looked shocked until I answered, "Where I come from we have homes from the 14 and 1500's. These must be pretty modern." Not surprising, she wasn't interested in where I came from. She kinda sniffed at G when she told her.

But here's Camden, a little twisted but cute. Oh and the house is a REPLICA of a 1700's very rich mans house.

Why??????????????

I remember a beautiful little elvish girl constantly asking her mother the same question; "Why?" After given answer after answer after answer the question remained, only to be finalized by a stern "Because!". It didn't suffice then, and it doesn't now when we are the ones left behind echoing the words of a little girl, "Why?"

Happy Birthday Kierra, have a dance with Mada for me.

Love Auntie Nancy

Obit

To everyone:

Love.

The world and the appreciation to see, feel, hear the beauty and love within and all around.

Faith in yourself and your own unique perspectives and the abilities to live with and by them. (Not just survive, but live)

Acceptance of anyone for their beliefs without judgement.

Courage

Faith in yourselves to step outside the boundries and be free.

Forgiveness. In self and others.

The rest is just dust collectors! Ok Terry M your turn.

Vertigo...

"I'm at a place called Vertigo, it's something that I wish I didn't know, but you give me something I can feel" from the song Vertigo by U2.

I resound with those words as the life is spinning in it's own inner ear infection. haha. Beware my humor is becoming dark as we've learned from the continuation of experiences meaning death and more death, it's how we handle it. Sorry there just isn't any more tears, though a few will seep now and again; I'll let them. Now irony keeps laughing with it's stupid innuendos like the time my ex and I lost 8 people in 1 year. I once told my other ex "Aren't you glad you're no longer related?" he didn't think that was funny. I did, because at that time I wished I wasn't the one related.

A dear dear friend has let me know he has 90 days or less to his time with us on this plane. Like Mada (who helped plan her funeral), he goes on the same planning for the outcome absorbing the love from us who love him dearly and will continue to do so as a light in and around us. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen till I turned 90!!! Damn it MJ, Terri and Dori, we'd better all go together in our sleep in the same French or Italian Villa we retire to AFTER we've all hit the century mark. For some reason we are a core; I know you're part of mine. After all you're the first I call, no matter what.

So the fire is now lit under my ass. Know anyone who needs furniture?

Thunder

I drove into St. Pete last night to pick up a friends daughter for her to spend the next week with us and also into a tropical storm. Barry.

Today I sat and listened to the deep baritone roll of the thunder. It made me think of drums which thunder always does. The sound is deeper here on the west coast of Florida then it is on the east. It catches me by surprise now to hear it here; as I've grown used to it from the St. Aug side. There it has more of a metal ping to it; a different nuance. Is it because it comes from the open seas? When a storm enters the mouth of the Gulf of Mexico does the land mass around it create a different sound vibration?

All things considered it's still the music of nature.

Connecting the dots

"Firstlight" by Sue Monk Kidd is a vignette of contemplative memories with resounding spirituality. It brought tears to my eyes from the beginning as I read her truth's revealed, reminders of reasons and connecting the dots in humanity.

One of the meanings in the dictionary of the word 'Story' is a statement regarding the facts pertinent to a situation or question. It is through those we connect the dots with questions asked from our souls by seeing a part of self within the words shared by another; or share our words for others to see a part of themselves.

"When a suffering is shared, its weight is divided. And when a joy is shared, the delight is multiplied."

I leafed through a couple of pages in my journal book, and some of the entries of this blog. Snippets of profound entangled with the mundane with answers sometimes found along the way.

I still write on "The Vortex" (see October 06), a story inspired from the book titled "From the Dust Returned" by Ray Bradbury, but only write on it now and again. My mind has been consumed by another 'story' I'm writing. My 'myth'? It covers both the wishful thinking, and the realities of taking my 'cinder blocks' I have built around myself. The cinder blocks are made with tears, pain, anger and overall hurt; impenetrable to keep out the pain but also the blessings that accompany. The sweet with the bitter; the best chocolate; bittersweet. All in all it's still a story, like a legend, based losely on truths surrounded by make believe in order for the lessons to be received. Through the dots of connections I'm creating a 'safety net' for self to open more freely, but still keep my self intact.