Saturday, August 12, 2006


As I travelled the internet highway I came across this excerpt titled“The Big Story” from The Feeling Buddha by David Brazier. The author begins this way: “What story are you living? What kind of story is it? Is it a story you’ll feel glad to have lived? Will you, when old, look back over the years without regret? Many people feel as though their lives haven’t really begun yet. They are waiting for the right conditions to begin. Others feel as though it is all over already. Some feel a sense of purpose, but many feel that their lives are disjointed, inconsequential or seriously compromised.”
Brazier goes on to say that in each life there is a big story and a little story. The little story is the story of the ego, what we call in our “Self-Mastery” class the small “s” self. I think of it as the self that knows itself in terms of limitations, strivings, attachments, appearances, gains, losses, and wounds—the facts of our life rather than the truth. The big story is about the capital “S” Self and our divine identity, innate wholeness, sense of purpose, meaning, and contribution to life.
The little story of Jesus, Brazier offers, is that he was a carpenter’s son who never managed to get himself either a [supposed] wife or a proper job and finished up by being executed for a minor offense. The big story of Jesus is, as we know, entirely something else. Notice how the little story diminishes and dismisses while the big story expands and acknowledges.
The question for us to answer is which story are we personally living? Which one do we tell about ourselves? Do we think our lives are not so great? That’s how we sell out. We can each put our lives in the service of a big story that is wholesome and good.

I'm currently working on a piece or representation of myself. The 'canvas' is a printers box. Rather large with little squares. A couple are broken off, but that's part of the 'character' (as so many of you know that's what I see when I see dents and dings). In each box are pieces of me. Memories collected throughout my life, some good some not, but it is what it is. We all have them; the little sides to us. The facets. Those are what create the diamond. I was going over this with my nearest and dearest friend and she said how I'm like a chameleon, constantly changing. I can only imagine it would be for the better. As the past is what it is and no one can undo or redo it.
With that statement I am brought to mind of my children. It is wonderful that my grand daughter is 2 months old today. Unfortunately the lastest picture I have is of 2 weeks, and no communication hence. I walked through the Dollar store today and listened to country music remembering VIVIDLY a time when I moved to be near them. With absolutely nothing but faith. I accepted the conditional relations that were offered thinking those were the best that could be given or that was deserved. Later I woke up. I love my children no matter what. Will always do so. In the meantime I've learned to love myself because how can I expect pure love to be in my life if I can't reflect it? The story continues...


Mari-jane said...

Of course for the better.. it is when we look within ourselves we can see who we really are, not just who we show ourselves to be..

mom, Nana, Mena,Sue, Pick one said...

you have grown and blossomed and you get better and better with each passing day.
I know your heart breaks at not being able to see and know your granddaughter but you will in time, because all daughters need their mothers at one time or another, just don't give up who you are for that to happen, because who you are is awesome.

The best is yet to come:

Love ya sis