Sunday, February 25, 2007

On Dating

1st dates and all that. Actually went on one (surpise, surprise), where the guy opened the door and paid for the evening. Had fun listening to 80-90 rock, the band was good. We went out with another couple, friends of his. They were nice people. Dancing and drinking.
As conversations were, I found we had almost nothing in common. At one point he told me "to keep going out [with him] I expect you to keep an open mind". In otherwords "I pay you lay". I do have to put in here I did want to pay with real money for what I drank, but he insisted. It became obvious at breakfast when he and his friends talked how they continually enjoy a constant round of weekend drinking and dancing.
I enjoy it, especially when my friends and I can actually get together and let loose, but it's not the goal of every weekend or time off. There was a time in my life where the weekends were for nothing but. That was then, this is now.
I have found with each encounter I learn something new about myself, and my own expectations keeping open room for the unknown to be a blessing. I have also found questions that can only answer themselves in time. Will I recognize and be able to have great conversations with another? What is fun?
I have recognized the searce for commonality with those I do encounter to find it lacking. Why would I continue on that line, when it's just a set up for failure? Thus no second dates. Frankly I'm glad of that. Change is necessary for 2 to fit into each other's life and lifestyles, even from the beginning, however if those changes are for the negative what can that bring besides another lesson in heart ache? Couples go through ups and downs together, it's how they are handled that make them or break them. My family of friends project those lessons beautifully. As they stay true to themselves. If I can't have that in my life with another person, then I won't. Either way it is what I make of it.


Anonymous said...

I guess we all our finding alot about ourselves as we are grown up. Dating is different now then I guess back then, but, stand your ground as you do. Were behind you!

Smudge and Crew said...

Okay here I go....
Life is a game of compromise. I know stubborn folks say you should not compromise but I've learned that without compromise you will not grow. You can spend your time looking for perfect when "not half bad" can have endearing traits. That "perfect" person is more about catching your hormones and the weather on a good day then the "not half bad" guy who may be trying to win your heart. That is deep as I get! Terri