Countdown

Well the count down begins. Today I made my flight reservations to get into Phoenix, the bus ticket will be waiting for me, and the hostel has my reservations for when I get in.

Right now it doesn't feel real. I remember making detailed plans on visiting my new grand daughter, and changing them at the last minute due to judegements of past choices thrown in my face like the rotten egg time turned it into. Hmm how could those be changed and the egg made fresh again? It can't, like the past it's always there; I just don't choose to let the past be my present or future. Choices.

This time I'm not going for anyone by myself, with that said I will say I'm a bit nervous, excited, and not just a bit wistful as anticipation flows. Changes are happening, sometime it moves so slow like erosion we don't see it, but it's building momentum as time draws near. Expectations? I'm striving to keep those at a minimum, as they tend to turn into predispositions which in turn tend to be disappointing. As we all know fantasy is most times better then the reality. I am leaving the expectations open to discovery of new places, new people, and new experiences with hope they are all exceptional.

I will miss my friends. I've come to realize how lucky I am they aren't selfish. Selfish in the fact they aren't trying to guilt me into staying, giving me bad reports of what's happening, or pouting. Instead they have reserved the best cheering section of the bleachers; and I hear their words of encouragement, their hand clapping, hooting and hollering. They and I know we're always with each other no matter how far apart we are and besides it gives them a new place to venture to.