Condor Flight

It's a beautiful day...

What a gorgeous day in the canyon. Tomorrow night after work I'll download the pictures of the condors I took today (November 3rd). They are AWESOME! I got something in the mail I didn't expect till next week or the week after, and it was a quiet night at the front desk. Who could ask for anything more?

Happy November

It's not quite the new month here but when this gets posted it will be. I went to say hello to Susan at work and a co-worker asked me "What are you doing in your civies?" Knowing he understands my way of thinking I replied "Going out to draw magnificence." He smiled and corrected me when I said "well attempt anyways." He replied, "you had it right the first time."

I didn't 'draw' per se, but absorbed. It was found in a bee flitting through the needles dipped in sunshine on a pinon pine. Elegance in simplicity.

I turned in an internal application for an administrative assistant with a different department. Being within my 90 days it has to be approved by my super. He didn't reject it, however he did let me know he needed to talk to the rooms director and assistant rooms director. Not the norm but I consider it a compliment. He asked me why, when I told him the main perk was single housing status, he looked a bit deflated and said he understood too well. I also got my drawing pens. That was exciting. I also met a new employee at Susan's desk that is a professional photographer. We started talking 'shop', as she has a camera similar to what I have, while others stood by looking perplexed. I shared with her some of the things I've learned by playing, she offered use of her multiple lenses; and invited me to join with her and several people that are starting up a camera club. Now that would be nice.

'The man who flushed the toilet next door' nodded to me as I had supper with Susan and her boss. (And yes I used the word 'flushed' rather then 'flushes' on purpose.) We then went to her house and handed out candy to the kids, I really enjoyed that. It was therapeutic hearing the giggles, seeing the costumes, seeing the smiles. What was really surprising is the 2 bedroom apartment her boss has is so similar to my old apartment. Sans the wood floor, granite counter tops and fabulous equipment it was built similar. A loft bedroom, with a washer and dryer with 2 full bathrooms. They even had a cool patio outside the downstairs bedroom. I was just a little 'homesick', but only for a moment.

Tomorrow is another day

But unlike any ordinary day it's another day off. Actually my 'Saturday' which I have labeled my off time as my vacation time. Some of it will be spent taking care of business, which I will joyfully do my best to complete in time to have some one on one time with my spiritual self and earth. This week I have met more people from Florida, it's been too funny. A couple of people from St. Pete, too. There is even a lady working here who's last name is Graves, now isn't that something?! It's her married name, but still freaky. We plan on starting some hiking since it's not safe to hike alone. Susan's not a hiker, and well, 'the man who flushes the toilet next door' is nothing more then an acquaintance... Either way she'll probably pack the fundamentals like Gookinade (a discovery that is AMAZING), salty snacks, and stuff like that while my pack is filled with art supplies. Go figure.

There have been 'prescribed fires' burning on the North rim; creating veils of illusions into the canyon. I love to see all the differences, sometimes the peaks resemble eagle heads looking at me, other times the illusion is nothing more then the reality it is. I took some really cool 'artsy' photos at the Kolb Studio the day before yesterday. Yes I will eventually put them on the blog, or at least one or two. The watercolor pencils are here, still waiting on the rapidographs (art pens), but it's a beginning. I'm even happy with the rough sketches and right now that's all that matters.

New Discoveries

I was talking with a co-worker at the cafe this morning. After he told me of his and his girlfriends adventure to Monument Valley, he asked what I did on my time off. I told him I went to sketch in my new sketchbook. It felt so good. I also told him how ticked I was when a tourist took my picture without asking for my permission. I had felt someone watching me, when I looked up I was staring at a camera. He had asked "do you mind?" as he clicked, and I just looked at him and stated "I guess not." then packed my stuff and moved on. Well my co worker also works for an association that supports the arts, and suggested I take in a local studio here in the canyon. So I did. And discovered food for my soul. So this week I'll take my camera in and do some pictures, and on my days off still practice the 'plein air' drawing that I look at now and see they're not half bad. Even for rough sketches.

A sense of time

In reading my past entries I was awakened to the knowing of not posting much since I've been here. The crickets do sing, as the ravens talk. The scent of pine perfumes the air giving a sense of comfort to the day even if it doesn't require a comforting presence. I still miss the lightening bugs.
Today I went to Flagstaff and got to drive 180 back, it was exquisite. The aspen grow in clumps their white bark resembling the birch offering a backdrop of a maze. It reminded me of a painting I once saw where there was a pack of wolves in the shadows on the bark and in the trees as a native rode a horse in the quiet winter night. I felt the shadows whispering, unfortunately I was not alone so I couldn't 'listen' as closely as I wanted, it was a knowing all in it's own accord driving through the land. In the passage I drove through a prairie valley which reminded me of Indiana; barn and all, to bring it all into full circle focus.
Through it all there has been a meeting of many peoples as new folks come in. It's nice meeting those with similar ideas, theories, and most of all very interesting stories as to what brought them here. New friends, without the 'welcome wagon' logo.

M&M's

I just found an m&m sitting by the computer, a sweet comforting present. A comfort like my friends MJ, Geneva (and chocolate) talking me through a half of a heart break. It's only half because I didn't give my whole heart away - or should I say I retrieved it back on his step several weeks ago (a symbolic story). This morning the guy I've been seeing decided he just wanted to be friends after a suspicious moment reported to me from an outside source. So was he? Probably, which means I'm a whole lot better off. In my head I'm reminding myself of our differences which were rather wide and remember the questions as to 'why'. Knowing he was an important part in opening my door, helps. At least I keep telling myself I know something so much more deeper, and richer (and no I don't necessarily mean monitary wise), is on it's way. This is a time I miss being in the presence of my friends. I know they're with me but it's not the same as the good ole 'girlfriend time.'

On the reality day to day stuff: Susan has gotten assistant manager and is doing a bang up job. I'm proud of her for taking that step. She's been the mother hen, and actually done more cooking then me. Wow what a switch. Me I'm in a supervisor position at the front desk, which is going pretty good so far. I'm down another size and have claimed 2 pairs of jeans Susan doesn't wear; I have to admit my ass looks pretty damned good. The adjustment of being in a larger place is okay, it's nice having more space, a kitchen and a larger bathroom. It just happens to be next door to the guy I no longer see (haha), and it's noisy sometimes. I seem to go through this funk missing my old apartment at each place we live in, but this too shall pass; we'll make it home, decorate it good, and make good memories here. The weather is so beautiful, nice during the day, cold at night and the canyon is still magnificent. I find comfort with its presence, its ever changing moods; yet always constant in beauty and its sense of self. A lesson I'm abosorbing from the magnificence gifted to me in my placement here. For that and much more I am grateful.

September Sunrise

The colours of the sky...


Soften...




As the morn disrobes in light...

Revealing in brillance...

The day.

Raven Walk

Fault Line

Every now and again as I stand on the rim, I feel not quite a vibration but an electrical current. When I went on the fossil walk, I found out why; this is a picture down into the fault line through the canyon.

Wilde Discus Beasts

This is a rare siting as these wild beast tend to only come out at night under the cover of darkness....

History in shadows

Under direction by conquistador Francisco Vasquez de Coronado to find the fabled Seven Cities of Cibola, Captain Garcia Lopez de Cardenas led a party of Spanish soldiers with Hopi guides to the Grand Canyon in September of 1540. Not finding what they were looking for, they left. Over 200 years passed before two Spanish priests became the second party of non-Native Americans to see the canyon.


Canyon shadows

Conquistador in color

This looks like an airplane flying over. It's clouds illusions I recall...

Conquistador in black and white

Don Qioxote and Pancho Villa

Blessings

I don't know who wrote these words, however in the email forwarding I was blessed with receiving them. Though I've read them many times, there are moments when they finally hit their mark, especially the last line. A new friend is teaching me about blessings, for that I am grateful.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

The Breath of God

Looking into the night sky I stare breathless. The vastness of the space with all the nightly glory is immense. The stairway of the stars, the milky way stretches from one side of the earth to the other as stars actually twinkle. Can you hear their laughter upon your soul? Can you feel the connection through every pore with every one, every thing, here and there? Can you feel your soul fly? Do you 'know'?

9-26-71 to 9-13-07

Arnaud's spirit was released from pain and humanity.

A piece of soul
Stripped from me
Left mine exposed
Vunerable
Sad
Far a part has flown away
Released
Into the universe
To shine in the heavens
And dance among the stars

I celebrate your life and loving friendship.

Canyon Visions

Look who stopped by for dinner....

At the neighbors house he decided to stop by. He's a 12 point bull elk. Welcome to Arizona Exposure.

The Adventure Begins...

It seemed like a blur to get from Florida to the Grand Canyon but we made it here on Monday August 20th. Thank you MJ for the beautiful card that brought on the waterworks, you always have a way to do that.

Pictures do not do the canyon justice, there is just no replacing looking at it from one's own eyes. Exquisite, beautiful, and any other definitive terms one could describe beauty is not enough. It brought tears to my eyes to see it, one can smell the pine in the air. The animals are unique in their environment; it still amazes me to look over my shoulder and see it there.

I will be back on line 9/4, at that point I will post pictures of the 12 point elk that decided to have his dinner at the local juniper tree across the street from us. Boy are we tourist! When the mule deer decided to have a late night snack under our window that's when I started feeling like a character from Northern Exposure. Good thing I loved that show.

When one door closes...

Freedom! Shouted from within the walls of home. A healthy hand clap from David as I emerged no longer en employee of the hotel. My nerves gave a current of unknown excitement with the butterflies flapping. It was really nice how many people sought me out to give a hug. The 'best damned chocolate chip cookies' were gone in record time - 2 hours, Jeff brought in baked ziti, another great pasta dish with ham, peas and a cream of mushroom sauce and a bodacious spinich salad with tropical fruits - yum. I turned in the very unflattering blue shirts, my name tag and walked out the front doors.

Today I still think I'm just having a day off, and think I have to get up for work, when the work is more clearing of my abode. It's strange to see it so bare. David has been so nice to help with the use of his truck and muscles for the things for storage. Brad came over today to help, gosh it was good to see him. Thank you my cute young muscley friends - hell at my age any young man under 30 is cute!!!

Of course my best friend T who keeps riding the waves of changes as I call with we'll be there...no plans have changed....etc. Hey now she knows what it's like to be in my loop. Scary, huh?

All in all, after one door closes...walk to the open one.

Butterflies

In my belly. Time draws ever so close to the 17th and the departure date. Still so much to be done, but still a bit accomplished. I cannot thank my friends for all of their help with everything including being the great cheering section they are. Every time I touch the globe on my charm bracelet I think of them and as MJ put it, the connection we have where ever we are.

I look forward to texting on each leg of the journey, and calling with new discoveries. I look forward to hearing the stories from here as time progresses for each one of us. This weekend is my last weekend in St. Pete. Time to say good by to the Yaya's - a different set of friends I've kept over the years from working at a luxury hotel on the beach. 3 out of 4 of us are now grandmothers. Did I ever think about that title bestowment? How do we picture our grandmothers. Though MJ and I are the only two at this point grandmothers in the core group, we like to think, or maybe we are, creating a new imagry our children or grandchildren think of when one hears the term 'grandmother'.

By starting to pack my clothes, the new coats and stuff, I guess that made the determination of the move being more 'real'. It was funny at work, a co-worker commented on me coming back like I did last time. I ended his sentence with 'for a visit' as the last time I left and came back was for a totally different reason. Then I wanted to just close my eyes and not wake up, now I want to keep my eyes wide open.

The Door of Friendship

MJ is the owner of the door as it is through her we've all been brought together. The colors are symbols: Purple, MJ; Blue, Terry; Green, Dori and Red for me. One on each corner though we'll see if she can position mine in the West of her garden decor. In the center is a cumulation of all of us. Can't wait to see it in place, so MJ you've got yet another project.

Dueling Cameras

You've heard of dueling piano's well my brother came by for a visit and in a moment of comradarie we created 'dueling cameras'. Here's my results:

GGW 2007

Here it is, the girls gone WIDE tour 2007. As MJ so eloquently explained it, 30 years ago we all became friends. Back then we were girls gone wild, so now we've become the girls gone wide. Needless to say it was a success, after all where ever we are there is a party. If there isn't one, we make it.

How many years has it been since men stared at our breasts? It was rather funny as many different people, of all different age ranges read our shirts and all had comments like "looks like you still got it", or "you go girls!", or a simple glazed look below the chin line. A couple of us may end up in a college blog somewhere (get your mind out of the gutter we didn't flash any one!) We left it to their imaginations...

Each night or should I say morning we staggered back to the hotel room around 4am. Frankly the beds were SO COMFORTABLE I believe they help alleviate a hangover. Sure did me.

Despite the experience of being a source of joy for those around us, it was another bonding moment as my best friends and I celebrated the depth of friendship we hold sacred. What a send off to the 'wanderer' in the group. At least this wandering is joyously anticipated and gives them another place to visit.

So what do you think girls, GGW2008 in Vegas? Do we dare have a camera person?

It's so hot (even Rocky thinks so)

I wonder

I wonder if there are lightening bugs out West? Will the crickets sound the same? Is it true one can smell the wild sage on the breeze? What is the night music and how will it differ? Can tree frogs live in that climate? Will thunder boom, roll or roar?

I look forward to seeing the stars, I hear one sees more falling stars out there. How will the landscape look painted in the monochrome colors from the moon's watery glow? Do they put Christmas lights on cactus'?

This and so much more....I wonder.

Countdown

Well the count down begins. Today I made my flight reservations to get into Phoenix, the bus ticket will be waiting for me, and the hostel has my reservations for when I get in.

Right now it doesn't feel real. I remember making detailed plans on visiting my new grand daughter, and changing them at the last minute due to judegements of past choices thrown in my face like the rotten egg time turned it into. Hmm how could those be changed and the egg made fresh again? It can't, like the past it's always there; I just don't choose to let the past be my present or future. Choices.

This time I'm not going for anyone by myself, with that said I will say I'm a bit nervous, excited, and not just a bit wistful as anticipation flows. Changes are happening, sometime it moves so slow like erosion we don't see it, but it's building momentum as time draws near. Expectations? I'm striving to keep those at a minimum, as they tend to turn into predispositions which in turn tend to be disappointing. As we all know fantasy is most times better then the reality. I am leaving the expectations open to discovery of new places, new people, and new experiences with hope they are all exceptional.

I will miss my friends. I've come to realize how lucky I am they aren't selfish. Selfish in the fact they aren't trying to guilt me into staying, giving me bad reports of what's happening, or pouting. Instead they have reserved the best cheering section of the bleachers; and I hear their words of encouragement, their hand clapping, hooting and hollering. They and I know we're always with each other no matter how far apart we are and besides it gives them a new place to venture to.

Natures firewords

Surface stuff

Today is yet another day. July 9th. Mercury goes forward tonight, it was 89 degrees but felt like 99, humidity feels like 110%, gas is $2.85 a gallon (at least for my car) and I worked. Surface stuff.

I've been reading a wonderful series of books (Ugh, David I'm going to thump you on the forehead!), about Earth Man. It's written by a husband and wife team, she's an archaeologist and he's an anthropologist. Though the characters may be fiction the events are real, there's even bibliographies in the back for further research. Fascinating reading.

On another venture I've been looking up information regarding the magnetic north pole. What I found coincides with the changes throughout history in the geographical findings dug up. Those thousand years or more were but a blink of an eye or a layer in the rock. Global warming. I had to laugh when I read an article on my news regarding one of the major conferences in which our fearless leader refused to sign with regards to the global warming issue. In it, the article stated (and I'm paraphrasing) something with regards to lowering the global temperature several degrees. Who has their finger on the earth's thermostat? Hmmm, that's what I'd like to know.

Either way, personally, I don't think we have much say in the issue of nature taking it's course; neither did our ancestors thousands of years ago. Have we changed much with regards to beliefs of our climate changes being curses from the unknown all powerful? Not likely. I'm pretty amazed as I read, (yes I know they're fiction!), how similar our governments and social atmosphere hasn't really changed all that much. Even warfare was atrocious. That hasn't changed much either, just the weaponry used.

There is no easy answer, but the same story keeps coming around. Hmm, isn't there a quote somewhere with regards to learning history or be doomed to repeat it?

August 21st 2007

This is the new starting day at the Grand Canyon for my sister and I. Moves it up a bit.

Really?!

Yes, really.

Defined as to bring together again; to compose or form anew. To re ally one with a fact, an idea, a notion, a belief, a statement.

This word used as a form of interjection has been floating around quite a bit this week. Popping up or should I say out of mouths as myself and others come into contact with bits and pieces of information. Nothing distinctive stands out in my mind to give a 'for instance' it's all floating there as if it is it's own.

It stands on it's own when the word comes out as an statement as another has just given us their information. It's like standing on the edge, 'do I believe that?' 'could that person be telling me the truth?' 'could that actually happen?'

Yes, really.

A little inspiration

I checked out a coffee table book by Annie Leibovitz. It was not only exquisite (as I admire tremendously her visions), it was provoking. I espcially loved the placement in the book of Thomas Moore with his group right before the grouping of President Bush. The placement in the book is a statement itself. And ALL of her photos tell a story in every line, composition, and shadow. So I took out the camera and took pictures of my sister and had her take a few of me.

It's a learning process.

Sifting through sand

A friend and I went to a speck of a town in South Carolina. Not much redemption, at least townwise. That is what I mean by sifting through sand. We went to check it out for her; I in my optimistic viewpoint knew there is always something redeming about a small town. As I said before, there wasn't much. Though we didn't take the time to explore the waterways; it looks like a fantastic kayaking place there was a couple of funny moments at my own expense.

We would be sitting at the great little fish store G's friends have, watching the locals and what not. One came in to sit and talk with us. His southern accent was so thick I barely understood him, I would look at him and say "Sorry?" so often he slowed down in talking and looked at me like I was stupid. I could only laugh about it as I realized I didn't understand their slang and twang. When asked what his priorities in life were; he enunciated quite well, "fishing, God, fishing, family, fishing, work, fishing." Who could ask anything more?

That afternoon after a well deserved nap we went to a nearby town called Camden. Exquisite little town. I was playing with my new camera and didn't get as many shots as I wanted, but it was nice. I think I almost became an enemy of the state when our hotel desk clerk had told me proudly how they took part in the Reveloutionary war and have homes from the 1700's. I looked at her strangely and said; "Is that all?" she looked shocked until I answered, "Where I come from we have homes from the 14 and 1500's. These must be pretty modern." Not surprising, she wasn't interested in where I came from. She kinda sniffed at G when she told her.

But here's Camden, a little twisted but cute. Oh and the house is a REPLICA of a 1700's very rich mans house.

Why??????????????

I remember a beautiful little elvish girl constantly asking her mother the same question; "Why?" After given answer after answer after answer the question remained, only to be finalized by a stern "Because!". It didn't suffice then, and it doesn't now when we are the ones left behind echoing the words of a little girl, "Why?"

Happy Birthday Kierra, have a dance with Mada for me.

Love Auntie Nancy

Obit

To everyone:

Love.

The world and the appreciation to see, feel, hear the beauty and love within and all around.

Faith in yourself and your own unique perspectives and the abilities to live with and by them. (Not just survive, but live)

Acceptance of anyone for their beliefs without judgement.

Courage

Faith in yourselves to step outside the boundries and be free.

Forgiveness. In self and others.

The rest is just dust collectors! Ok Terry M your turn.

Vertigo...

"I'm at a place called Vertigo, it's something that I wish I didn't know, but you give me something I can feel" from the song Vertigo by U2.

I resound with those words as the life is spinning in it's own inner ear infection. haha. Beware my humor is becoming dark as we've learned from the continuation of experiences meaning death and more death, it's how we handle it. Sorry there just isn't any more tears, though a few will seep now and again; I'll let them. Now irony keeps laughing with it's stupid innuendos like the time my ex and I lost 8 people in 1 year. I once told my other ex "Aren't you glad you're no longer related?" he didn't think that was funny. I did, because at that time I wished I wasn't the one related.

A dear dear friend has let me know he has 90 days or less to his time with us on this plane. Like Mada (who helped plan her funeral), he goes on the same planning for the outcome absorbing the love from us who love him dearly and will continue to do so as a light in and around us. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen till I turned 90!!! Damn it MJ, Terri and Dori, we'd better all go together in our sleep in the same French or Italian Villa we retire to AFTER we've all hit the century mark. For some reason we are a core; I know you're part of mine. After all you're the first I call, no matter what.

So the fire is now lit under my ass. Know anyone who needs furniture?

Thunder

I drove into St. Pete last night to pick up a friends daughter for her to spend the next week with us and also into a tropical storm. Barry.

Today I sat and listened to the deep baritone roll of the thunder. It made me think of drums which thunder always does. The sound is deeper here on the west coast of Florida then it is on the east. It catches me by surprise now to hear it here; as I've grown used to it from the St. Aug side. There it has more of a metal ping to it; a different nuance. Is it because it comes from the open seas? When a storm enters the mouth of the Gulf of Mexico does the land mass around it create a different sound vibration?

All things considered it's still the music of nature.